Humor in profile picks?

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May 2012

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[Adoveea Rau]

I started laughing because of another profile picks and finally got around to writing and posting some ooc/roleplay stuff  in my picks.
Due to my bizarre sense of dry sense of humor you get to read what is titled in picks as Roleplay/OOC in Gor

Roleplay: I'm a Free Woman of Gor aka: The Tarn Lady.
Boring dull roleplayer who drinks black wine, always heavily vieled and sits around gossiping..any rumors about my being responsible for wild roleplay, intrigue, politics, wars,raids,abductions,enslavement, combat,deaths,assassinations of other roleplayers in Gor is not true at all.... I just make pla..ns.. .*cough..suggestions! suggestions!!not my fault other roleplayers like the ideas.

OOC:
1) If the sim I'm residing in- roleplay bans another entire sim, I will leave that sim never to return.
2) PERMANENT roleplay death doesn't exist for me. Temporary roleplay  death means I skip happily  back to my building pad for a few days and enjoy myself telling everyone "i'm dead, go away I'm having fun making strange demented things and dancing with tarnsman at sl clubs"


Post some fun or seriousness of your own picks when it comes to Gor

[Heaven Demina]

My profile picks tend to feature snippets of conversations or bits of rp silliness that change on a fairly frequent basis, but two have remained on it for a good length of time now, because each time i read them they just make me laugh.

The first, a conversation with Pax, about the arrival of some rather phallic shaped slave leashing posts in Treve, as shown in the picture



[19:20]  Pax Canning: another question
[19:21]  Heaven Demina: yes?
[19:21]  Pax Canning: what are all these dildo things that have popped up all over the place?
[19:21]  Heaven Demina: ask Carter, i don't know. But to be fair... i am enjoying them.
[19:21]  Pax Canning shakes his head
[19:22]  Heaven Demina: see that one?.. by the water?
[19:23]  Pax Canning: hmm?
[19:23]  Heaven Demina: i nicknamed it Pax...
[19:24]  Pax Canning chokes
[19:24]  Heaven Demina: so did i...
[19:24]  Pax Canning: hahahahahahaah


And the second, the three witches of Tarnwald form a welcoming committee... yes, that was witches, not a typo!

[11:34]  Asea Andel: Are you over there groping men as they tp in and havent' rezzed yet??
[11:36]  Heaven Demina: yes
[11:36]  Asea Andel: I'm impressed by your evil schlutty genius........
[11:36]  Heaven Demina: "Hello and welcome to Tarnwald, my name is Heaven, i will be your wanton, fw, rapist today... exits are located, here, here and here"...
[11:37]  Asea Andel: What? not pointing out your entrances?...or is that part two?
[11:37]  Heaven Demina wags her finger.. "see i always need you to fine tune my ploys"
[11:37]  Asea Andel: I have your back
[11:38]  Wanita Slade: the men talk of raids... we women talk about more important issues like making visitors feel welcome....
[11:40]  Wanita Slade: and only Heaven will make a rapist sound like the grand welcome to Buckingham Palace

[Kaitlin Eiren]

I love this thread.  I don't usually read profiles when I RP in game with someone for the first time and then I forget to have a look later after its over.  I usually fill mine with people and words important to me although a touch of humor does sneak in.

Zander - You owe me a glass of wine
The future...If one knew what was in store it would be called the past.  FC'd Year 10162 CA, Month of En'Kara, Last day of the 1st Hand

Kait: What is your purpose in Gor?
Zander: To terrorize you.  I bought you lock, stock, and barrel.  Your free woman ass is mine.
Kait: So that's what a bride price means ROFL
Zander: Yes...everything thats mine is mine and everything that is yours is mine.

Dren my Brother - He is a "Good Man"
Siblings Don't Renew...Companioned 9/30/2010 but fate can be cruel...in an odd twist we have discovered we are something deeper than a mere FC could ever be...brother and sister 12/30/2010
                 I am now fiercely protected.
                       The Best Laid Plans
They labeled it a Singles Ball...the chain of events following have been a wild ride.
   
                        ~ Captive of Gor ~
"I wanted to be many women to him, and yet the same, always El-in-or. A man is a strange beast I think, for he both desires one woman and many women, and perhaps most he desires one woman who will be to him many women, others, delicious others, and yet always, too, herself."

Vylixan - What Gorean RP Should Be - Pure Fun
IC - Our next meeting he would be advised to worry about his safety

OOC - He is awesome sauce and a treasure I didn't expect to find.  I believe in ghosts. :-)

they called her "Alina"... She is sorely missed
I miss you.
The hardest task in Gor...finding a slave who wants to be a slave and who knows what that means. 
(AFK for a bit with RL - She is irreplaceable)
Acquired for Evaluation - 12/17/2010  -  Collared with my name imprinted on the Steel 1/2/2011

[19:30]  Lady Kait slips the collar around her neck, its delicate appearance deceptive as it locks as securely as any other. With a swift turn in the lock at the back of her neck she smiles beneath the veil. "I give you this collar with the full expectation you will serve me always to the best of your abilities and should that not be enough you will hunger for additional knowledge so that I do not find you lacking. I expect proper servitude from you in and out of my presence that reflects well on me as your owner."
[19:31]  Alina: "yes Mistress" she says as she feels the collar around her neck "thank you Mistress"
[19:33]  Lady Kait motions for her to rise, "I think I will call you....Alina for now" the statement offered with a smirk.

The State of SL Gor
[21:51]  Dorian: Indeed, but then I miss gor in general, there's really not just one thing
[21:51]  Dorian: I just miss all of it
[21:52]  Dorian: But truly at this point I say screw it.  When someone dies you don't prop their corpse up in a corner of the room and continue to carry on conversations with them, at least not if you're sane, at the least after a whlie the stink will force your hand
[21:52]  Dorian: And in this case for me, the stink from Gor is pretty much overpowering
[21:52]  Kaitlin Eiren laughs...I'm putting that in my profile

[Leith Constantine]

this is the best thread ever

[Xaz Elephas]

Assassin Quotes From My Profile:

[23:03]  Parisa Ishtari: ((You know you guys are sick SOB right?))
------------------------------------------------------------------
[18:59]  Xaz Elephas pulls out pink bandages and puts them on Zaks boo boos
[18:59]  Gorean Meter 3.1 shouts: Zak Delwood has been aided by Xaz Elephas
[19:00]  Zak Delwood: looks down and sees the pink.. "adds to my... appeal?"
------------------------------------------------------------------[11:11]  Carter Carter Ebbage: Xaz in my office.. just having a private moment.. dressing up :-)
[11:11]  DracoSilverwing Allen: oh dear god
[11:11]  Aleera Morane: lol....that sounded so wrong. Xaz you may wanna run
[11:12]  Xaz Elephas: Sure, Snookums, I will be right there.
[11:12]  Antonio Galloway: Woot

[Linnet Foggarty]

I had 4 whole picks filled with people and moments that made me laugh.
The one that stood the test of time the longest...

MRE:  "You are too sweet to rape and too laid back to torture.  It's unsettling"

I left it in there as protection from being capped and it's worked for years!

[bunni Maven]

HAHA!

Mine is full! of humor.

[16:49]  bunni Maven: are wood flutes gorean?
[16:49]  Heaven Demina: is that like a metaphor?
____________________________________________
[10:09]  Christopher Vestel: I am so big!
[10:10]  bunni Maven: thats what she said OHHO!
____________________________________________
[19:01]  bunni Maven: i get naked and im like "hey whats that down there...OHHH"
[19:02]  Linnet Foggarty files that under "Things you only hear in SL"

 

I love it when you can see in a profile the true spirit of the person behind the keyboard

[luce]

Now I had a great one that I had on profile a while ago when I used to play with a gorean friend, made me laugh everytime i read it....looks frantically in her inventory to see if she can find it and wonders if she dares post it

[Heaven Demina]

post it, Starr!

[Callista Vaughan]

[02:24]  Callista Solari: What are you doing up so early anyway?
[02:25]  Tara Knelstrom: I had to pee
[02:25]  Tara Knelstrom: and it was hot
[02:25]  Callista Solari: ...
[02:26]  Tara Knelstrom: in my room
[02:26]  Tara Knelstrom: not my pee!

[Martyr Magnifico]

I got a little annoyed with an acquaintance who saw fit to partner / unpartner multiple times every month and publish the ensuing dramatic details in her profile all the time, so I made a pick about the typical Gorean relationship:   

*************************************************

Day 1:  Sassy Spredzum beckons all the men... "Ooooh, come get me boyz!  Take a ride on this insatiable sweetie!"

Day 2:  Sassy is capped by Horsedick Pixelcock and accepts his collar after an epic fuckfest.

Day 3:  Sassy partners Horsedick, writing multiple gushy profile picks about him.   Horsedick frees her from the collar and makes her his FC.

Day 4:  Sassy changes her RP limits to read "no more sex boyz, I am TAKEN fully, completely, totally by my MAN!" and stops talking to all her former fuck buddies.

Day 5:  Sassy has a big SL wedding to Horsie, pledging her eternal love to him.

Day 6:  Horsedick gets bored with  monogamy and furs a random kajira.  Sassy catches him in the act.

Day 7:  Sassy unpartneres Horsedick Pixelcock, her profile pick changed to say that she will "always love him."

Day 8:  Sassy Spredzum writes a profile pick RP banning Horsedick Pixelcock and his "many alts"

Day 9:  Sassy Spredzum is back in the saddle, offering up her tunnel of love to the next lucky suitor

[luce]

Sorry just made me laugh on a pretty grey winter day    I put it on my profile...



Tarzan :Jane you my woman. Yah?
Jane : No.
Tarzan: Wot?
Jane: No, go away you big oaf. Can't you see I'm doing these nails? Why do yo think I can't typpe prroperly? Anyway, it's my time of the month... And my name isn't Jane anyway, Mr Resident, it's Lucy Ooh La La La Combie La Di Da "I'm way hotter than you and you can piss off now" La La-Ness. But you can call me "Piss Off" for short.
Tarzan: ...
Jane: Plus, you are big and dumb.
Tarzan: But look, me got shiny rock. *holds it out to her*
Jane: Ohh.... in that case... c'mere big boy. *leans over to look at it, not noticing him reach behind his loincloth*
Tarzan: And club... *bonks Jane on the head...drags her to the batcave*

I'm not surprised if you don't remember that, but feel the back of your head for that bump... it might bring back memories...

Despite thousands of years of human evolution, nothing has changed on planet Gor, eh?

[Delaynie Barbosa]

I am not that funny. However, here are some tidbits that have have found their way into my proril because of their epic one-lineness:  bah-duh duh.


Random IM:

Suyuan: omg. look at what my translator said:"Suyuan: gor is vast. (belt is fastened.)"

*************************************

Another tidbit I quoted from a friend about translators:

PeachyCream Beverly: i was doing fine till he figured out id told him to fur his mother... sighs.. i hate translorters

**************************************

And finally, settling the argument, which is greater, Gor or Disney:
Atom: WaltDisney1 Resident has been killed by JohnNormann Resident
Atom: Gor won

[Garrgon Resident]

I have a whole list of quotes in Garr's profile under "Garrgon make you twitch", but this might be my favorite one:

Elle C: I CANT GET AWAY FROM GARRGONS ASS

Ah. Good times. Good times.

On Pie, I have this one that always makes me laugh:

How I learned my limits as a Gorean FW.

Neria Llewellyn: PIE!!!!!
Lacie Sorbet: PIE!
Vardemis Landar: PIE!!!
Lacie Sorbet whispers: Pie!
Lacie Sorbet: OMG Pie!!!
Lacie Sorbet: Pie! Behave yourself.
Lacie Sorbet: Pie!!! What in the world are you doing!
Lacie Sorbet: Pie..... behave.
Lacie Sorbet: PIE! That's it!
Vardemis Landar: Pie!
Vardemis Landar: OMG
Vardemis Landar: PIE!
Neria Llewellyn: PIE!!!
Lilith Vhargon: Pie!!
Lacie Sorbet: OMG PIE!
Lacie Sorbet: PIE! hush
Vardemis Landar: Runt, hush!
Lacie Sorbet scowls at her daughter warning her to behave.

Lacie Sorbet: PIE!
Pie Huckleberry: Yeeeessss?
Lacie Sorbet: behave!

And then, sweet justice...
Vardemis Landar: Neria! Hush!
Neria Llewellyn feels a little off and decides she better sit down before she falls over.
Pie Huckleberry grins.

[luce]

Then of course there was the revenge humour pick posted when past love interest was found "furring" (love it!) at least 12 other woman and telling them he loved them too and I huffed off..... just wonderful (remember its a humour thread!!!!)


The most tragic people in Gor are the ones who spend all their time on their computer pretending to be really cool bad guys in SL.
You are not epic or looked up to and respected by anyone worth caring about, you are geeks with massive chips on your shoulders. Take your snobby attitudes and shove them up your huge - from sitting around all day typing one handed while you beat off to what a Gorean legend you are - arses. Then, go see a shrink, sort out your crippling agoraphobia, get a job and some RL friends. Maybe even go to a bar and have sex with a real person and heck even play some pool. Oh and remove your crusty jizz-covered clothes, wade through the sea of empty pizza delivery boxes and go take a bath goddammit, it's been over a week now.