Second Life Addiction

Donations of any size and regularity are always welcome to help offset the costs of maintaining this site.

May 2012

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[Moon Firegrave]

I have removed this message due to the sensitivity.

[Husam Darkfire]

First thing I'd suggest is research reputable sites or contact a mental health professional and get some information regarding addictive personality disorders, which I hope you've already considered.

While there are a vast number of people here with equally vast amount of experiences, I think you're going to get a reoccurring suggestion this person needs to get into some form of treatment and/or counseling.

But I suspect it's going to be an uphill battle but one that needs to start sooner than later.

One place to start might be:
http://www.nimh.nih.gov/index.shtml

[Garrgon Resident]

I think it goes without saying that this person needs help, and quickly.

The first thing you do is prepare yourself for some really filthy treatment by this person, should you decide to intervene and start urging them towards counseling. In the end they might love you for it, but now they'll fight you tooth and nail.

If this is someone you only know online, you'll be pretty limited in what you can do for them. I'd start by researching places that they can get some help in their area. Give them the list, tell them you care and they need help. Then give them an ultimatum. Addicts don't listen to "I love you, please get help". They listen to "If you don't get help, I'm not supporting you anymore". You'll have to decide what that ultimatum will be in the end but it could be that you cut off communication with them, that you inform local authorities (Adult Human Services might intervene if they live in the US), etc.

If you know them in person and live nearby, then you can do the same research but you'll be able to talk to some professionals in person and will probably have a better chance at getting some help pressuring them to let others help.

Addiction is -very- powerful. All the talk they'll do about being fine, not having a problem, they can stop at any time, as well as anything they spew at you for trying to help, is the addiction talking.

Good luck. I hope you can get through to them.

[Triad Fallen]

Could be worse, could be addicted to crack,coke or alcohol.Many people are addicted to games these days kids are sucked into it and drop back in school and walk out as dumb as they walked in.
Any addiction is bad.

[Blade Snowdrop]

SIMPLE. Leave them on their own to crash and burn and boot them out of your life. Also probly shouldnt have made this blog unless its YOUR problem cause putting peoples rl issues on here is immoral

[Kail Lefevre]

I do not suffer from Second Life addiction. I enjoy every moment of it............



Like any addiction that is so strong that it ruin's their life it has to be addressed. That said, addictions are not in and of them selves commonly the root of the issue. Most addictions start as a way to cope with the real issue. Clearly if you know some one with this addiction and goes so far as to steal to do it, then that person needs people to step in before they land in deep trouble. It might be hard for you but if you buy into their addiction and continue to allow it to go unaddressed and instead just go on playing with them or talking to them about any thing other then their addiction you are doing them no good. If you really know some one like this you need to be strong fast and solid in driving the point home to them that they need help. While you are at it, you should try to discover what the real issue at hand is. If you can solve that or address that, then the addiction might lesson on it's own. Just my 2 cents, who knows I might not have any idea what I am talking about, it is just the way I see it.

[Xaz Elephas]

Game addiction is real. 10 percent of all people who use the Internet or play video games are addicted to them. When they play, their brains produce endorphins, giving them a high similar to that experienced by gamblers or drug addict. Gamers’ responses to questions even mirror those of alcoholics and gamblers when asked about use. Treatment for video game addiction is similar to detox for other addictions, with one important difference. Computers have become an important part of everyday life, as well as many jobs, so compulsive gamers can't just look the other way when they see a PC. The toughest part of treating video game addicts is that "it's a little bit more difficult to show somebody they're in trouble. Nobody's ever been put in jail for being under the influence of [a game]." As a friend all you can do is have a talk with them, point out to them about what you see them doing. Just like with any addiction the addict has to hit a bottom and has to want to get help. If they refuse then you have done what you can and may need to break the friendship and let them fall on there own, thus losing a loss of your friendship and showing you will not be co-dependent by accepting the behavior they are doing.

[Blade Snowdrop]

Look in all seriousness i have a gaming addictions its manageable if done by a responsible person as Xaz can attest im up for HOURS and during training id be on 8-10 hours a day. But i still live my life and get everything i need done. At times i will play a ps3 game while on second life while txting a friend while writing a paper for College. its all about the individual. And i believe in social darwinism.

[bunni Maven]

I almost take offense to "donating XXXX" means a person "isn't well"  I play several hours everyday and I answer offlines if needed and so on.  I don't think this makes me "unwell".  My bills get paid and I'm having a good time.  So I would say ((on a personal level)) that what I do is my business.  I could say I am "addicted", On some level I am sure I am.  I agree with Blade, it just depends on the person.  Without really knowing the other side if this "addicts" story and not knowing them personally....i would say just let them be with their devices.  You cant help someone who doesn't want help.

[Garrgon Resident]

We can probably all call ourselves second life addicts to some point. I stopped roleplaying after 4 yrs of playing hours on each day, even uninstalled SL and I still can't even completely disconnect. I'm still here. I'm still on the gorums. I still log in now and then just to poke people in the Garrgon group and say hi. I mull over returning then talk myself out of it. There is some level of addiction there.

Addictions like this become an issue when it interrupts your life. The OP wasn't going after people that donate large amounts to sims but rather is concerned over someone she cares about that donates large amounts when they have no money for food. Losing your job, going broke, spending all of your food money on your entertainment, isolating yourself, lying, stealing, cheating (which I assume she means manipulation) are all things the OP mentions and all symptoms of a very serious addiction. This kind of addiction is far from those of us that are attached or put in long hours, but still cope.

As a friend all you can do is have a talk with them, point out to them about what you see them doing. Just like with any addiction the addict has to hit a bottom and has to want to get help. If they refuse then you have done what you can and may need to break the friendship and let them fall on there own, thus losing a loss of your friendship and showing you will not be co-dependent by accepting the behavior they are doing.

Sound advice.

[Moon Firegrave]

I have removed this message due to the sensitivity.

[Garrgon Resident]

Moon, IM me anytime. I've dealt with an addicted ((removed for Moons privacy)) myself.

Good luck.

[Laja DeCuir]

Thank you Moon for bringing this up. The way you put your post made it pretty clear that you have to cope with a very serious problem by yourself and I am sure there are many others who have to deal or dealt with similar problems by themselves. Personally I met some people during my active online times who had issues and got more and more addicted or have been at a risk to become an addict. Sl can be a drug to those, especially people who already have issues to deal with. For us ingame it mostly was difficult to help, because you cannot force somebody in a counselling and it is even harder to help when you don't have any rl contact. Also I see your background, it is not unusual that people spend a lot of money in sl telling others, they are rich and can afford it rl - nobody will know the truth as long as the one keeps his story. Though you are lucky when the sim owner acts in concert but therefore you need to know. In my rl working life I had a client whos sister even lost their two children because of sl, as her brother said. She was overextended and lonely beforehand dived into sl and didn't care for them at all anymore. Though the children have been taken by social services and this was the final straw that made her wake up and she searched for help later. Her children are in care still after more than a year of time. I only tell you this, because it is a hard way for the person to wake up and a hard way for the family and friends either.

The coping strategies are similar to every other addiction. Luckily there are a lot more professionels doing counselling for people being addicted to the internet. It is an addicition but immo also a sort of symptom for other issues or personal disorders. Give a local psychological counselling service a call. Go and get some counselling by yourself to get help, mostly they do offer such for family members and others who live near to an addicted.

I do wish all the best to you and your family.
Take care.

[Taog Ra]

I personally don't see the SL addiction as anything 'worse' or more trivial than drug/alcohol addiction.

Some alcoholics are 'functional'.. meaning they don't lose their jobs or alienate loved ones, etc.. it really is a case-by-case thing that will vary by individual and the tolerance levels of those close to them.

I'm all for the 'tough love' approach, and sometimes, particularly when the addict refuses help, it's time to step back and let them fall on their ass.  The challenge for you will be deciding if you want to be there if/when they fall on their ass to help them back up.

[Meredith Topaz]

I'm not sure that posting this is in such a public forum where people can easily guess who you are talking about is the way to go, sadly. Publicly shaming them can have a really bad backlash from your loved one.  I doubt it was your intent to shame them as your are looking for help, but it could be viewed as that.

Mental health issue are a difficult thing for a family to deal with, especially when the person does not want help.  Perhaps an intervention is needed, or a note dropped off at their doctor's office.  Sadly, unless they are in danger to themselves or other it it hard to force any care.

I wish you the best of luck!