What does it mean to go OOC...?

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May 2012

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May 28 - Memorial Day

[ramond lax]

And then there is Elle who simply likes the outfits of the slave better 

All kidding aside, I just asked a couple of co workers who said I am definitely not submissive but would describe me as assertive rather than dominant.  I am not saying with certain men I do not have the submissive leanings, privately, but that's a whole other topic.

I think my point is on an OOC level would should  not assume one's leanings or preferences or expect them to be in their role whenever they are online.  For the record, I have met tons of Free women that are a hell of lot more submissive than me.  

AS i said, there are Degrees.   With some it's more prominent, and with any Free who comes off as an authority, they will bow to it, with others, they will seem as firm as a rod until that one moment when they fold.  Same goes for Free, OOC I am fairly laid back, hardly dominating much at all, but when the mood arises, I can be a Pretty strict and Dominating Man,  and others have told me a strong master... But I am Hardly an uber dom... and i kinda prefer myself this way.

And I actually Agree, you shouldn't automatically assume that just because you wear a collar and camisk, you should live on your knees... but the tendency of a slave to naturally lean to that position in an OOC setting doesn't surprise me either.

[Alaria Voss]

I totally understand that some, may choose to kneel IC and OOC, because they are more comfortable doing so.  I used to be much the same, I like the visual, and lets face it, it is hard to be anything but subservient when kneeling at the feet of another.  However the issue, for me, is the “expectation” by many that the player of a slave, WILL kneel in OOC situations.  And then because that “slave” will then dare to question them, they will pull out the big gun:  “You are clearly not a true submissive”.  Always makes me wonder, just how dominant they really are, if they feel threatened by a standing avatar.   

I would agree many are drawn to the role of slave, because they have submissive tendencies.  But  while IC there are strict rules and expectations of the role, OOC each of us different.  Some will be on the TPE of the spectrum; others will be closer to the switch level.  IC any free person may command the character, OOC how much “control” we are prepared to give others is up to each individual.

I guess, over time, I have learned to be comfortable in the skin I am in.  And if/when I hit my knees OOC, you can be sure it means something.  By the same token, I am lucky enough to be surrounded by those comfortable enough in their own skins, to know just because I don’t kneel all the time, IC or OOC, it is not a measure of my submission.

[Elle Couerblanc]

I totally understand that some, may choose to kneel IC and OOC, because they are more comfortable doing so.  I used to be much the same, I like the visual, and lets face it, it is hard to be anything but subservient when kneeling at the feet of another.  However the issue, for me, is the “expectation” by many that the player of a slave, WILL kneel in OOC situations.  And then because that “slave” will then dare to question them, they will pull out the big gun:  “You are clearly not a true submissive”.  Always makes me wonder, just how dominant they really are, if they feel threatened by a standing avatar.  

Exactly - it's a choice and should be respected.  Conversely, if a slave chooses to kneel we should not lift a brow either.  I too enjoy the visual of kneeling next to my partner - particularly when he looks oh so smashing in his new warrior outfit!

[Mathilde Niosaki]

IC: means in character. You are fully engaged and immersed in RP and in your character..

OOC: means Out of Character which can include earthly attire, attitudes and everyone is equal.

I believe in clear separation of IC/OOC. Infact, I get uncomfortable when slave character addresses me as mistress in IMs and during OOC events because I see everyone as equals nor am I into the D/S exchange when not in character. For me, we are all just playing a part in RP. As for kneeling, OOC that is your perogative but IC, I expect slaves to kneel in my presence. I recently had an IC conflict about this but anywho that is off-topic...

I remember in Cyprianus, we had an OOC sword tournament where several warriors from different sims came to participate. Now, everyone was dressed appropriately but meters were detached and everyone was speaking in mix of ic/ooc. It was held in a skybox. There was a woman fighting in the tournament and the OOC hostility  and comments that came from some of the fighters was astounding. I think some even threatened or did drop out of the contest. Obviously not a clear separation of IC/OOC for some.

As for OOC event, I would have to agree that unless you posted "please dress appropriately for the sim or dress in character" that said person had the right to come in his attire. I would have personally changed into the free outfit, but that's me. For the future, I would think holding an event in skybox and/or making a point of including "proper attire is required" note can fix that problem. But as you can see, even holding it on skybox doesn't clearly solve the separation of IC/OOC issues.

[Delaynie Barbosa]

You make some good points about IC/OOC Mathilde. Which this reminds me, I think some of the issue with IC/OOC mix is not just how people view thier character in Gor, but SL overall. They are always IC from the moment they log in. This is an escape, a way to pass time. They never show themselves or have a policy, whether it's in their profile or not, that RL is offlimits. Therefore, they view themselves as always a character. And some people just don't get that you can't expect everyone else to follow YOUR fantasy. Even if RL is offlimits, that's not an excuse to not listen to someone else's reasoning on any given issue. But some people don't see it that way, so they keep the wall up and expect others to fall behind it.

And then you have lifestylers, who are always Gorean and never a character, and sometimes they have issues respecting that some people only roleplay Gor, and that can cause problems too. The difference between what some people perceive as an obvious fantasy and what some people perceive as their reality, yeah never a good combo.

And then of course there are the people who bring themselves to the table and take everything that happens in roleplay really personally. My thought on that is if you can't make the seperation, don't roleplay. It's not about chat and socialization, it's about telling a story in the genre and the challenge of creating a believable scene with certain themes. Gor's themes are often not kind to people. If you can't do it, don't do it, or you will definitely get your feelings hurt.

So yeah, that's where I think some of the IC/OOC seperation problems come from.  Just sayin, cuz your post kind of made me think of some stuff. :-)