Gor Novels We'd wanna see :D

May 2012

______ Holidays ______

May 28 - Memorial Day

We've already seen "Houseplants of Gor", and the early days of science fiction conventions spawned "Free Amazons of Gor", a theoretical collaboration between Marion Zimmer Bradley and John Norman. Here, too, in order, are the top ten Gor novels fans want to see next. ;>

10. Gor #47, Sardine Fisheries of Gor - In the dark and dangerous city of Port Kar, trouble is brewing in the mighty Thalassa. Its sardines, so crucial to the survival of the city's economy, are rebelling in their schools, until they are taught by true Gorean warriors that their destiny is to submit utterly to their destiny of service in the paga taverns and dinner tables of Port Kar.

9. Gor #59, Hairdressers of Gor - The Pink Triangle, a hair salon in the great city of Ar founded by disgruntled expatriates from Earth who were kidnapped from San Francisco by Gorean slavers, is in trouble. Too, they cannot pay their rent, and are to be evicted from their building unless Dorto the Hairdresser can convince mighty Gorean warriors that they, too, would be more appealing to slaves with good haircuts.

8. Gor #60, Cosmetologists of Gor - A sequel to Hairdressers of Gor, this is the thrilling saga of Dorto's successful franchise school in Brundisium, and the portentious events which, too, happen there.

7. Gor #61, Drag Queens of Gor - The final, thrilling conclusion of the trilogy begun by Hairdressers of Gor. In it, the even the mighty Tarl Cabot finds himself helpless to stand against a virtual army of junior cosmetologists dressed in well printed silk robes as they bitch-slap, pinch and embarrass him nearly to death. Too, he decrees finally that the Priest-Kings should heretofore forbid all Gorean slavers to raid anywhere near the Castro District on Earth to avoid any further such embarrassing mistakes.

6. Gor #236, Fast Food Franchises of Gor - While Gorean slave raiders have been studying Earth, unknown to the mighty Priest-Kings, the sly, cunning, stealthful, secretive corporate raiders of Earth have been doing intensive marketing surveys of Gor. Too, they have determined that the Earth hamburger, french fries and soft drink would be well recieved by Gorean warriors. A mighty war follows, as great golden arches are erected outside of Ar, and Marlenus, Ubar of the city, is not pleased. Finally, after secret agreements and much gold exchanged with the Council of Captains in Port Kar, the golden symbol is carved into the Home Stone there, and the Fast Food Franchises of Gor await their final, portentious destiny.

5. Gor #237, Cost Accountants of Gor - The sequel to the thrilling saga, Fast Food Franchises of Gor, is the story of the adventures of Barton, a Gorean warrior who learns the ways of corporate headhunting and strategy. Unfortunately, he is not told until too late by the Earth people who employ him and his fellow Gorean warriors that "corporate headhunting" is, on Earth, a metaphor.

4. Gor #123, Freudians of Gor - A group of scientists from Earth relentlessly corners Gorean warriors and psychoanalyzes them, until they are discovered and enslaved in the mines of the Salt Ubar. Once there, the survivors forment a rebellion for the right to publish their findings. Unfortunately, their leader insults the Salt Ubar in a dispute over swords actually being compensatory phallic symbols, and they are all staked out to die beneath the merciless desert sun.

3. Gor #159, Scientologists of Gor - A copy of a secret Earth publication is transported to Gor, with shocking results. Too, the Priest-Kings are not pleased to discover that the Earthers have been aware of them all along, nor that they are being referred to as "Thetans."

2. Gor #112, Stablehands of Gor - Throughout the Gor novels, much attention is paid to the Gorean warriors and their nubile slave girls having mighty adventures, and little to the characters that are actually necessary in the background for these adventures to run smoothly. In this exciting beginning of a new mini-series that will include Sanitation Engineers of Gor and Interior Decorators of Gor, Tarl Cabot finally looks up at a flying tarn and gets an eyeful.

And, the one you've all been waiting for........

1. Gor #50, Free Clinics of Gor - In which Tarl Cabot and all of the other major characters in this series finally see a doctor about that embarrassing itch, and realize that swords, treasures and slave girls aren't the only thing they've picked up on Gor.