Contents
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*A sensitive killer
*:::Gossip:::
*"Page Three"
*The Ubar hard at work
*"The Magistrates Corner"
*Advertisements
*Has the Ubar found an heir?
*Announcements
*Victor the Beast
*"Funny Pages"
*"Mystic Heaven's Goroscope"
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A sensitive killer
by CM
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In this land many don’t like or care much for the presence of the Black Caste, we only leave them be due to the law and the fact they are just doing a job much like the baker is doing hers. When the mark of the black dagger is painted on the forehead of a killer we all know one of us will die and have to move on to the land of dust, seeing this mark makes everyone think about their lives; how they have lived and what they would be missing if they are the one.
This did not seem to be the fact for the warrior Rossco, when the killer started to follow him he merely hissed at him to go find the unlucky bastard that had a contract out on him or her. The killer pulled back for a brief moment to have something to eat, the newly companioned Chaos followed the killer a bit amused about the whole ordeal. The killer told the young man he found the warrior mean and would go apologize but worried he would just anger the warrior more. Sir Chaos could not help then to mock the killer a bit; a killer thinking a warrior is mean was not something you hear every day and to add to the amusement, the killer passed on the offering of stew it would upset his stomach he said, to the sound of laughing the killer left to find his mark.
This sensitive killer walked up to the warrior Rossco, with a cold stern look in his eyes he drew his sword and struck down the warrior before he or anyone else could react. Brutally the killer slit the warriors neck, as blood splashed out, covering the grey stones of the grounds in the City. A yell of suprise and anger rang through the high buildings, Sir Chaos witnessed the kill, the alarm now rang as if others had witnessed it as well, running towards the killer ready to fight the killer merely dropped the now lifeless body of one of our warriors to the ground called for his black beast and flew off.
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:::Gossip:::
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Rumours are abound that this new Magistrate may have more on his adgenda than simply ruling the city with an iron fist. Like many men, it is said that he quite enjoys seeing women with less than comfortable neckwear. I however, have not seen any woman of Treve been forced to her knees -yet- so it remains to be seen what the Magistrates goals truly are.
Spotted: Way too many killers for most anyone to be comfortable. From Minus to the city itself, on one evening there were nine, some marked, some simply in the livery of the caste wandering around our homelands. Are that many of Treve doomed? I say yes! Put your ducks and well, family in order Trevans, before it's too late.
Bells are ringing! Or are they? One too many warriors have been spotted for many ladies comfort levels seemingly wandering off to a battle where none exists. Either the bells have gone wonky, the men are simply hearing things, or perhaps they've found some strange psychosis, or even an ability to communicate with one another without speech. I've heard the physicians intend to conduct a full examination of each in this matter.
Spotted: One warrior and one scribe = love in the air? Rumours are abound that these two, who so far will remain namelss have been courting in secret. Who knows what might happen. Stay tuned for more as I find out, perhaps like with so many others lately, she's courting a collar, or a secret baby. Alas, all I do know, for certain, is that companionship wine may be shared once more, and soon within the city walls.
Well well. It seems my suspicions were indeed correct, as usual and the baker of Minus, Jazzy, has companioned the butcher of the same small village. I'd be quick to jump on the baby suspicion, but for some reason, I think this might be less gossip and more love story than anything else.
Warrior angst. It seems a certain pair of warriors within the city haven't been getting along. A challenge of swords might rear itself shortly, or perhaps it's a simple matter of lust over a stunning kajira. Stay tuned or keep an eye out to watch the events as they occur over the next hand.
The beauty that is Lady Isabelle, scribe of Treve has been seen toting around both the city, the village as well as some seemingly covert operations with several different men. Who might win this Lady's affections. Time will soon tell.
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"Page Three"
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CAN ONLY BE SEEN INWORLD
This week the lovely Olympia agreed to show her beauty.
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The Ubar hard at work
by CM
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Another day at work, a day as any other. Busy and always a run in and out of people wishing the Ubar to listen and conquer, with no care or remorse the Ubar had his girl jinx work him while Sir Cor and Lady Olympia were discussing business with him, the Lady of course was not able to see under the Ubar's desk to see what was going on. the Ubar could have used his hand she wouldn’t have known, but the tone of his voice, the deeper breaths were not to be mistaken; the Ubar was for sure being pleased.
The girl finished her work on her owner and the Ubar finished his business, but as the generous man the Ubar is, he kindly offered Cor the use of his girl needless to say the Lady was repulsed and disgusted by all this.
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"The Magistrates Corner"
by The Magistrate
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court case 001 2010: Snapper Hollak V Grisley Spires
The defendant admitted to have held a dagger to the accuser's neck, but due to the fact the accuser had taken her rights as a free woman of Treve to fare the sentence of the defendant was reduced from five days confinement of his home and/or infirmary to two, this was done after the accuser's protector Lt. Mal spoke on the behalf of the defendant.
On August the 3th to much surprise Chief Physician Lady Sophiaa gave her hand and life to I Magistate Sir Sigiher in lawfull companionship.
Commander Dark and Lady Ari have been lawfully companioned on the 29th of July.
The Musician Lady Fey has sold her slave boy to another Musician of Olni.
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Advetisements
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〖Weekly there will be 4 spots at 2 coppers pr. advetisements, if you wish to have an add in the paper for your buisness, contagt Carin McBride personaly and latest Friday in the comming week.〗
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Has the Ubar found an heir?
by IB
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An unusual guest made an arduous and never before accomplished trek across the mountains from Minus today, taking his life in his paws as he sought the fabled city of Treve.
Finding his way straight to the Ubar, he was greeted in the usual manner; with threats of impalement or force collaring.
However the noble guest soon charmed the assembly and his impressive show of skill with a bamboo cane against Jake-of-the-short-kilt lead the Ubar to entreat him to join the tarnsmen or the elite guard.
Our visitor sadly would not be swayed and left, but not before the Ubar and Ubara were observed in a touching scene with the guest. Leading many to speculate that a legal adoption may be afoot....
On a final note - if anyone knows which hair products the Ubar uses on his flowing locks, this writer would be interested to know. Answers on a scroll to the usual address.
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Announcements
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** Gorean Training Academy Class Timetable **
All classes open to the Free & slaves, Trevian Citizens & non Citizens (non citizens will need to ask for a tp straight to the lecture location)
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*Foods of Gor*
Thursday 5th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by Akio Hendes in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Drinks of Gor*
Thursday 5th August 2010 @ 8pm slt - held by Liliana Aluveaux in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Roleplay etiquette*
Sunday 8th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by RedSnapper Teitelbaum in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
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*Harta serves*
Monday 9th August 2010 @ 4pm slt - held by Chasity Miles in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Slave attire*
Wednesday 11th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by Akio Hendes in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*The Art of Bathing I & II*
Thursday 12th August 2010 @ 8pm slt - held by Liliana Aluveaux in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Collars & types*
Sunday 15th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by RedSnapper Teitelbaum in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
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*Slave Discipline & punishments*
Monday 16th August 2010 @ 4pm slt - held by Chasity Miles in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*The Art of Gorean cooking part I*
Wednesday 18th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by Akio Hendes in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Slave positions & commands*
Thursday 19th August 2010 @ 8pm slt - held by Liliana Aluveaux in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Slave types*
Sunday 22nd August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by RedSnapper Teitelbaum in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
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*Flora of Gor*
Monday 23rd August 2010 @ 4pm slt - held by Chasity Miles in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*The Art of Gorean cooking Part II*
Wednesday 25th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by Akio Hendes in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*10 Steps to a Gorean Serve*
Thursday 26th August 2010 @ 8pm slt - held by Liliana Aluveaux in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
*Roleplay etiquette*
Sunday 29th August 2010 @ 1pm slt - held by RedSnapper Teitelbaum in the Academy Lecture/Practise room, at the top of the Kennel building.
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Victor the Beast
by CM
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A rare sight surprised and scared people down in the Village, not yet had we gotten use to the sleens that roam around in the field when the Kennel Mistress, Lady Pay, came riding towards the Village on a huge beast, at first sight it looked to be a sleen so of course people were shocked and scared; both for themselves but also for the Kennel Mistress, however it seems the Priest Kings looked over the lovely Lady Pay; Not only did she manage to stop the beast before riding into the Village, she also was able to calm the beast.
The men that were around the scene yelled out offers to kill the beast. the Village butchers voice was more eager and ringing, but then again if the beast was to be killed it would be good business for him. Against Commander Victor's wishes and advice the Lady Pay wished to keep the beast, he however demanded she was trained in riding and controlling it.
Lady Pay and a visiting woman discussed the gender of this huge tharlarion, after some talk back and forth they had a slave crawl under beats to see as nothing was to see they agreed that this animals hided there genitals inside, however Lady Pay decided on a name that would be able to be used no matter what gender it would be .. Victor. If she named it after the Commander in spite or as a kind gesture is still a grey zone, we all know the Kennel Mistress' feisty mood.
The Commander Victor insisted on feeding the beast before Lady Pay was helped down from it, he paid a she urt to do this very dangerous task. The poor She Urt was so scared she threw the bosk jerky at the animal in hope it would spare her life, the beast seemed to care less what they did around it. Lady Pay kept calming it by speaking in a soft voice and stroking it along its neck, but then the Lady had enough and insisted to be helped down from the beast. A kind stranger stepped up quickly to help the lovely Lady since her guards had disappeared for some reason.
Still wanting to keep the animal Lady Pay has been commanded to be trained by the warriors to handle the beast so no harm would come to her or any other free.
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"Funny Pages"
by Ponytails
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This week the funny pages are all about women! So why are women better than men.. well the following poem says it all, sorry
guys!
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Poem for all the FW out there!
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
and wont take any crap
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually very late.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest?
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!
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Common knowledge about men:
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.
What do men and paga bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can clean under it.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A bosk steak and a six-pack of paga.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
A man's undivided attention.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get,
and how long it'll stay.
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"
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Questions you shouldnt ask when questioning someone for a court case:
Q: Now Physician, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?
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Q: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
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Q: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the raid?
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Q: Did he kill you?
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Q: How far apart were the tarns at the time of the collision?
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Q: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
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Q: How many times have you committed suicide?
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Q: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
A: Yes.
Q: And what were you doing at that time?
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Q: She had three children, right?
A: Yes.
Q: How many were boys?
A: None.
Q: Were there any girls?
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Q: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
A: Yes.
Q: And these stairs, did they go up also?
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Q: How was your first companionship terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
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Q: Can you describe the individual?
A: He was about medium height and had a beard.
Q: Was this a male, or a female?
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Q: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
A: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
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Q: All your responses must be oral, OK? What school did you go to?
A: Oral.
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"Mystic Heaven's Goroscope" -
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~~Will not be printed this week~~
