*Don’t Lose Your Head…
*:::Gossip:::
*"Page Three"
*Mordachai's new shop
*"The Magistrates Corner"
*Advertisements
*Announcements
*"Funny Pages"
*"Mystic Heaven's Goroscope"
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Don’t Lose Your Head…
By Hells Bells
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Tragic events occurred this week in Minus.
A Trevan warrior was on patrol duty, when he was suddenly attacked from above by a hooded and masked man riding a tarn.
Despite his injuries, the warrior fought valiantly but was finally overcome and rendered unconscious. The attacker then proceeded to use his blade to sever the head.
Arriving on the scene and completely unaware of the terrible event came the Lady Isabella.
She screamed in horror as she noticed a dark figure leaning over the body of a Trevan warrior and the attacker quickly took the severed head and fled on his tarn.
Isabella stood in stunned panic before racing to ring the warning bell.
Young Gear and Warrior Anarch arrived on the scene and proceeded to try to find out what was happening.
Their only witness at the time, Isabella, gave them the very useful information that the man was “dressed in black”.
Unable to identify the corpse without it’s head, Anarch then interrogated the slave Ana who was of slightly more use than the hysterical Isabella.
The body was taken to the infirmary and prepared promptly by Marie.
Anarch and Vido left to investigate further and Isabella made her way to the Inn where she informed Tarlyn and Ace of the tragic events.
The reasons for this kill are as yet unknown but Ace, Anarch and Vido are determined to investigate further and bring swift justice…
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:::Gossip:::
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Rumours have certainly been circulating that perhaps our apprentice scribe, the Lady Isabella might have more than just a few secrets up here sleeve, or down her dress, as the case might be.
Honorable Rarius, James has been missing over the last hand. A few have said that he was handling some top secret missions of some sort or another, but one reputable source tells me he was simply in Kailani, enjoying the delights of their brothel.
Spotted: The Lady Pay acting very odd as of late. Purchasing a large quantity of meat and chocolates, mumbling to herself. Perhaps she has a kanda habit? Will the Lady balloon up like our dear slave Lina, a case of the munchies?
The warrior known as Pax has been seen in Minus eyeing the Lady Isabella, one has even said they caught a glint of drool at the corners of his mouth. Not to much surprise, both were seen dancing the night away at the Masquerade ball this past Saturday. Love might be in the air yet again!
Spotted: The Urt Catcher spending what some have deemed to be far too much time with the Innkeeper, Nita. Often the pair can be found in corners with their heads together. A secret affair brewing? I have been passed this rendering, which looks to me, like he just may be serenading the Lady.
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"Page Three"
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CAN ONLY BE SEEN INWORLD
This weeks model is warrior Ace
Picture done by Carin McBride
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"The Magistrates Corner"
by The Magistrater
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Nothing to report this week
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Advetisements
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〖Weekly there will be 4 spots at 2 coppers pr. advetisements, if you wish to have an add in the paper for your buisness, contagt Carin McBride personaly and latest Friday in the comming week.〗
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Mordachai's new shop
by our new writer
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well it seems Mordachai has joined the rank of Shopkeepers, He has opend a general store in Minus , a neat lil place for Your exotic parfums, candles and many other goods , rumour has it that a bottom shelf offers many items not to be spoken about , but the words black and Market spring to mind , -grins- , of course there will also be delicious honey cream buns available baked from a secret receipe by the beautiful talendar better known as tali , made with her home made honey , these are baked by both tali and the sexy syn , we do like to point out these are not baked and sold in direct competion with the Bakery, just merely to treat the Villagers to an extra treat .
Now the first batch was succesfully baked but alas mysteriously vanished, now gossip has it lina was seen nearby , and looking at the buxom beauty it does seem her hips have spread that much wider , of course not starting any rumours but that would explain Dentons attraction to her . the extra sweetness on her lips .
Now of course Our Handsome Mercenary Captain has many other things to keep Him busy , so there for We come to the second bit of news , Mordachai has asked the delightful Suria to run this new Venture with and for Him , we are sure she will make it work just fine , seems the Lady knows what She is doing . Congratulations on Their new venture.
So please pay the Store a Visit and treat that Special lady in Your life to some new parfum or maybe some nice Jewlery , All coins accepted .
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Announcements
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"Funny Pages"
by Ponytails
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This edition is all about romance, so stay tuned it has excellent tips on how you can find and get the one for you!
Shy? use one of those fine pick up lines for the one you like!
All this could be yours for one low, low price!
Apart from being sexy, what do you do for a living?
Baby did you fart, 'cause you blow me away!
Baby, if you were words on a page, you'd be what they call fine print
Baby, you must be a broom, cause you just swept me off my feet.
Ever since I met you, you've lived in my heart without paying any rent.
Excuse me miss? You dropped something back there? (As you look around you ask "where") Over there! (Ask again: "What did I drop?") He answers back: My jaw!
He: You look like my third FC. She: Oh, how many time have you been married? He: Twice.
I'm feeling kind of insecure right now. Could I have a hug?
It's my birthday! How about a birthday kiss? [Is it really your birthday?] No, but how about a kiss anyway?
Oh my, I thought I was gay... then I met you.
You are a beautiful girl, you have probably heard all the great pick up lines, so why dont' you just tell me the ones that worked so we can get past all that....?"
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Or you could always grab the quil and a paper, let the one you love know about it. Here is an example letter to assist you.
Dearest Ms (insert name here),
I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since 2 hands, 2 days and 5 ahns ago. With reference to that, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.
Our love affair would be on probation for a period of 4 hands and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent and our relationship will be promoted to companionship.
The expenses incurred for blackwine and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.
I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister the Physician, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Thanking you in anticipation,
Yours sincerely,
Romantic lover (insert name here)
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Gifts you should never get women:
1- A pet: cuz then your saying " I love you enough to make you clean poop"
2- A plant: If it dies, you'll never heard the end of it.
3- Clothes: If too small, your woman will think she gained weight and go on a diet, no more yummy meals. Too big, she will think you just called her fat. You just cant win!
4- A cookbook: Cuz the only thing you will hear "So you dont think I can cook, eh?" and thats when you will have bread and butter for dinner.
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A wise person once said:
Women marry men hoping they will change.
Men marry women hoping they will not.
So each is inevitably disappointed.
The four most important words in any marriage..."I'll do the dishes."
Men only have two faults....What they do, and what they say!
If sex is such a natural phenomenon, how come there are so many books on how to do it?
By the time you swear you're his,
Shivering and sighing,
And he vows his passion is infinite, undying -
Lady, make note of this: One of you is lying.
To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
If love is the answer, could you rephrase the question.
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"Mystic Heaven's Goroscope" -
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None this week
