IC OOC.. Can you seperate?

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February 2012

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______ Holidays ______
Feb 14 - Valentine's Day

[Jazzy Seriman]

I agree Malcomb. The inability to seperate the two is frustrating. I have dealt with it myself, I have had people in IM blatantly angry over RP.  Its sad when friendships dissolve over something that happened in RP.

But, how do you handle it? When the other person is so ooc aggitated and unreasonable? What do you do to fix it, without compromising your own story and feelings? Do you wait until the other person is over it and then proceed as if nothing happened? Thats hard for me because I am always waiting for the thing to flare up. I come here to have fun and escape real life stress, I do not appreciate when people force their stress on me. So, I guess even though I say I seperate...the inability of others to seperate does OOC effect me. I hate that.

[Wanita Slade]

If there is stress in the role ply, it does not immediately have to cross over to the 'other side' of the OOC relationship.  But it takes a lot of maturity and thought to do that.

It does and for me I find taking time out helps. How long? It all depends. I know only from my personal experience. Getting back into an amicable friendship with the other person after both having calmed down and able to laugh it off and continue with the friendship then great.

If not, then for me there is no love lost there. Regrettable? Yes but I am here to have fun not get suffocated by nuances. I have the other realm for that.

[Randall Reich]

I don't take RP personally because it is just a hobby, a game, albeit a fun one, so I am able to maintain that barrier between IC and OOC/RL.  However, we are people behind the keyboard and we do pick up on the energies of others.  I do believe...do know...it is possible to have a connection with someone that transcends everything--IC, OOC, RL. 

[isha pralou]

I don't take RP personally because it is just a hobby, a game, albeit a fun one, so I am able to maintain that barrier between IC and OOC/RL.  However, we are people behind the keyboard and we do pick up on the energies of others.  I do believe...do know...it is possible to have a connection with someone that transcends everything--IC, OOC, RL. 

   Agreed.. isha plays a fw who is just finding herself..tends to be to polite. or. can be stright up kinda mean... lol.. she is also a vampire in other relms.. and alot of other chars.. but sometimes she is just. isha having fun ooc...Occ means i have to deal with dishes in rl...ewww. or being the family taxi...
  The hard part I have learned and maybe others have known this or have already been thu it..It's when.. ooc and rl blend.. or blur.. to the point rp. gets lost..

   Some how ya have to make sure the other person. understands.. that yes i have feelings behind the keyboard.. but don't mistake them for.. more than they are..
   Any help or thoughs on this.. I'd like to hear them..
   
     xoxoxo..

[Rob Hoyer]

No one can separate OOC and IC completely 100% all the time. It's impossible.

[Lorelei Madrigal]

I agree Rob – it never fails to surprise me how different and unique the vast majaority of our avatars are, just as the real person behind it is.   It isnt a co-incidence that we all look different in this game.   It is our OOC personality that has created the IC character, our REAL personality and sense of aesthetics, and the more i get to know the pixel IC,  and then get to know the real person, the more you see the similarities, even if like the books they are often somewhat exaggerated and hyperbole during RP.

 But.. i believe, and feel , the essence of that person, the aura... the uniqueness.   That is not IC.. thats the mix – of IC and OOC/RL.  And sometimes, just sometimes, you meet someone where you can even transcend that as my Master said.  (For the scientific among you read Bohms theory of a holographic universe, if you as geeky as i am  )

We belong to a group here in SL, or swear to a homestone, or even wander and hang out at the hub because we are all human and enjoy relationships, be it platonic, sexual or something much deeper.  Otherwise we would be playing a one player game on our Xbox or Playstation or PC.. not one that requires interaction often at a high end level of intensity and creative and emotional intelligence.

I think Xaz’s comparision about actors leaving a scene is a great analogy – sure we are acting, and at the end of the scene we leave the stage – but remember how many co-stars fall for each other ?  How many knock on their leading Lady or Mans dressing room door after the cameras are switched off or the curtains are closed? 
Communication is just as imporatant OOC as it is in RP...  we are all gonna smile, laugh, get angry, feel sad.. both in IC and OOC  - and like Wanita said, if it gets too much, take time out - we all need it now and again in both SL and RL..

[Randall Reich]

I agree Rob – it never fails to surprise me how different and unique the vast majaority of our avatars are, just as the real person behind it is.   It isnt a co-incidence that we all look different in this game.   It is our OOC personality that has created the IC character, our REAL personality and sense of aesthetics, and the more i get to know the pixel IC,  and then get to know the real person, the more you see the similarities, even if like the books they are often somewhat exaggerated and hyperbole during RP.

 But.. i believe, and feel , the essence of that person, the aura... the uniqueness.   That is not IC.. thats the mix – of IC and OOC/RL.  And sometimes, just sometimes, you meet someone where you can even transcend that as my Master said.  (For the scientific among you read Bohms theory of a holographic universe, if you as geeky as i am  )

We belong to a group here in SL, or swear to a homestone, or even wander and hang out at the hub because we are all human and enjoy relationships, be it platonic, sexual or something much deeper.  Otherwise we would be playing a one player game on our Xbox or Playstation or PC.. not one that requires interaction often at a high end level of intensity and creative and emotional intelligence.

I think Xaz’s comparision about actors leaving a scene is a great analogy – sure we are acting, and at the end of the scene we leave the stage – but remember how many co-stars fall for each other ?  How many knock on their leading Lady or Mans dressing room door after the cameras are switched off or the curtains are closed? 
Communication is just as imporatant OOC as it is in RP...  we are all gonna smile, laugh, get angry, feel sad.. both in IC and OOC  - and like Wanita said, if it gets too much, take time out - we all need it now and again in both SL and RL..

Very very well said Mine. 

Knock, knock. 

[Hawt Sommer]

No one can separate OOC and IC completely 100% all the time. It's impossible.

It's easy.  Turn the computer off.  Unplug it from the wall.  Toss it out the window.


(I know,  Easier said than done)

[Marcus Antonelli]

What about those of us who have their SL slaves in RL as well. Separation is a lot harder than you think. When you see Marcus, you see the real me. My emotions, my thoughts, my actions. I find the concept of RP interesting, but I have never been able to detach from my character, and I'm not sure I want to.

I have made real friends here and felt the joys and pains of those real friendships. I would not trade that for anything.

As my profile says, "This ain't no game."

Marcus

[Hawt Sommer]

I would think you were leaving yourself and your RL partner open for a world of pain.  If someone wants to effect you emotionally and in a very negative way;  They can.

But on the flip side you are mashing around in the joys of that too.    I suppose that a very intense experience trusting the masked people all around you twiddling the keys on their keyboard making up whatever experience that you decided you are going to take from them.

Your choice,  Your actions,  Your benefit or consequences.

[Daved Calderwood]

Myself and my character have alot of differences in our own personalities. Daved in character has walked away from alot of the mistakes he made in the past and that's partly due to the training as a Black Caste where the personality does go through some changes but also the difference in how to accomplish the goals for this particular caste. That's part of the reason. I took a hiatus for a month from sl and really took stock of how I was roleplaying in the past and found alot of things that could use improvement. When I got back and started training I made a pact to change alot of things in the way Daved the character would act and knock on wood so far it has done wonders for the way I roleplay.

To be honest alot of the times i got in trouble in a city in the past was 90% of the time out of sheer freakin boredom. Something about a bunch of people standing at the gate doing absolutely nothing would always set me on edge. I felt like I HAD to do something if only to shake things up a bit but in the pursuit of entertainment it ended up me getting a lousy reputation. These days i could care less what anyone does around me and i suppose that's more the OOC part of me. Nowadays if i slip into a disguise its more for comedic value and the chance to spy around but with alot less of any kind of hostilities.

As far as OOC and my responses to me . I try to answer in the same tone and attitude that i get, meaning if you're gonna act like a jerk in my IM's i will answer in kind because frankly I don't think i have to take crap from anyone in OOC chatter. If i feel something is not right or that there is some question, I won't hesitate to talk OOC-wise to clear things up provided its over an OOC issue . When i roleplay I try to keep the IM's to a minimum because i really don't want to lose the momentum in roleplay.

Of course you are gonna meet jerks in game that for whatever reason prefer to act like an ass in your IM's or whatever other venue you can find (I have at least 4 "admirers" that I could name) and my advice is just to avoid them like the plague should you have admirers of your own. Funy thing is the ones that hate me RP-wise are the first ones i chat up with in IM's now and then and the conversations are amicable. Funny but true.

[Malcomb Danitz]

I am happy to say that Malcomb has managed to stay largely drama free.  Oh, no one can completely avoid it, but buy and large my family keeps it at bay.  This is often via the use of a very handy tool - the MUTE button.  If someone gets into my IMs and is being unreasoable I simply mute them.  It is very easy to mute and unmute a person, and you cannot even hear them in local.  Later when things settle you can unmute and RP with them, and hopefully mend fences.

I recently did this to 4 AVs (3 of which were alts of one person), over the above mentioned issue.  Since then i have unmuted and made peace with the one i care about.  The other person is dead to me forever, and does not even exist as far as I am concerned, they are a grey shadow, and i dont hear them.  No OOC drama.  In this way I have no IC to OOC conflict.  Of course the idea is to avoid such extremes, and keep it adult.

[dana Tehani]

I have to say, I have had very little problem with people in that regard as I try to be as understanding as I can. I would usually IM someone to let them know my type of rp or try to have some sort of ooc understanding so that it wont turn into drama, especially with lina being such a different character. I feel I am here to have fun and should make others feel the same way to. I think if you keep a good OOC communication, no matter how small it is.. even if its just the occasional hi and discussion of rp it really keeps further drama into minimum.. So I think if we are open in communication you get the best result. I love the ability to laugh at rps even if we are doing the most hatred rp there is.. but in IM we'd laugh and I think that what makes it more fun.. to make sure someone is enjoying that rp, is really rewarding at least for me. Thats when I feel separation comes.. When people come and say watching lina and someone else at fight.. dont assume its real or the feelings are ooc.. Its just rp!.. what I dislike is someone using thoughts and being passive aggressive, maybe I'm too sensitive but thats when I would take an ooc offense to their rp and may even avoid it. I so so hate it when sometimes I see Free commanding or wanting to command a slave in thought.. I usually emote to not being a mind reader haha and wont do what you really want lina to.

I guess posting this I meant the extremes of it. For example and what I dislike is people using OOC information as IC. A separation is always important. Unfortunately, none of us are perfect but we can try our best to keep IC just that and OOC out of it.. But as said in previous posts, its really hard. While lina is different than I am rl, there are a few things that lina may resemble me in rl, I suppose you cant totally disconnect but at least know how to separate it so it wont affect your rp. In rl I love joking and playing around. I'm actually quite nice and not the bitch lina is IC and thats where my character is totally different than my ooc. I just try to live lina while on SL and think what she would do in a given situation so I try to keep myself IC and separate from ooc.. not that I'm always successful as I may sometimes turn to ooc as a means of communication in hopes to improve rp, but I figure.. so long I try my best not to bring those feelings or thoughts to IC, then I'm doing okay.

[Isabella Bergiere]

ic -  i have a new enemy and it's made for some of the best rp i have had so far - i've enjoyed unleashing my horrid side and thinking of the most delicious insults i can.      oocly though its somewhat planned and totally laughed over.