A good life or: How NOT to be an asshat

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February 2012

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______ Holidays ______
Feb 14 - Valentine's Day

[Mandy Carbenell]

I just read a notice in the Teletus group which, in my opinion, applies to all of us in RP. You know what it's like, you had the worst day of your life and decided to unwind a bit in RP...then someone else gets on your nerves and you snap at them in IM saying something like: "Look, I just had my personal version of Armageddon today and I don't need you getting smart in RP" Well, of course that's a big nono..I know RL just hands out its cards and some are just plain bad, but think before you act! Others have it far worse then you and they do not change into asshats just because life gave them lousy cards. Look at this and take a deep breath, and enjoy your rp and interaction with eachother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ciYk-UwqFKA&NR=1

And remember, we're all here for one common goal: Have Fun!
(Thanks to my Mother for sending the notice that made me write this post)

[Rayzor McAuley]

Thanks for posting that!

[Carter Ebbage]

This is sort of spooky reading this, because I just had  a conversation about how others try to impose their RP scenario or actions onto you and the inabilty, lack of confidence, or perhaps uncertainty of how to stop something you are unhappy with.,,,basically them being a moran or asshat,, (I think I translated that into Engish as being an arsehole)

For example.. you do something IC which you dont appreciate has IC consequences.

Others then try to coerce you, force you to RP something you hadnt appreciated would happen.

Why do people not simply say "Bugger off" I am not doing that, hadnt appreciated that would happen, learnt my lesson now forget it and stop trying to create an RP scenario I dont wish to RP.

its simple.. practice this saying "Bugger off"..so why dont people say it when faced with this situation of others forcing them into something they dont want to RP...or at best,, use the FTB get out.

Fade to Black,,, yes it happened, yes I will roleplay the consequences, BUT you are not going to force me to RP something I dont want..

[dana Tehani]

I agree completely Carter. I will always IM someone if I dislike where the rp is going.

For example: being chained away as a punishment and left with no rp.... I will be right in your IM telling you I wont tolerate that

Even talked of this before, if a slave gets punished.. OOC she should still have a blast.. We should not be getting upset ooc over rp (even though the feeling is probably expected in rp) and definitely agree with complete ooc communication. Thats why I always felt ooc communication is so important to ensure best rp outcome. Not to say there wont be exceptions, but at least try our best not to get to that stage, if anything done to you in rp you dont like just IM the person and let them know if they still feel the need to go on with it, well I'd personally ignore their rp as they have not afforded me respect OOC as an EQUAL roleplayer.

[Isabella Bergiere]

This is sort of spooky reading this, because I just had  a conversation about how others try to impose their RP scenario or actions onto you and the inabilty, lack of confidence, or perhaps uncertainty of how to stop something you are unhappy with.,,,basically them being a moran or asshat,, (I think I translated that into Engish as being an arsehole)

Yes, I felt like this this weekend.
 
It's difficult to say no to RP to be honest, especially when people get on their 'keep it IC and honour the RP' high horse.   
 
I was ready to go through an RP punishment that had NO valid justification just because I felt that it was too difficult to tell people to shove their RP where the sun doesn't shine.   
I am just glad that sense was seen in the end and it was stopped,

I spent last night feeling miserable over this stupid game and I now watch this video and I feel like a complete moron myself for letting it affect me.     

thanks for posting it Mandy   

[Snapper Hollak]

yes thanks so much for posting the link . I try and I hope that I have NOT done this but bring my rl problems to my rp and treat others like Im the queen shit, I have gotten upset with some IC but I work it out IC  most of the time I'll go spar with my little pointey thing as someone calles it and put the face of the one that has angered me on my sparring partner who ever it is at that time, life is to short and I refuse to let it get to me someone once told me there is nothing wrong with loveing life , smile and laugh and you have given the world around you something to smile and laugh about too. yes I might say smart remarks but I do try to make them funny so as not to hurt someone and if what I have said in game has hurt someone OOC I do say IM sorry for I do not mean to hurt any ones feelings. and yes I do get in IMS sometimes when the need for it arises. all in all this is it ,, if someone tries to force on me their rp of something I would normal not agree with , sorry but you will be told where to jump off at ,, not had that to happen  as of yet

[Xaz Elephas]

This is a little story that holds a deep meaning its translated from native apache so pardon the format: 

Once upon a time was a kid boy with very bad behavior. One day his father approach, give him box with nails and hammer and said; "Every time you get angry and argue with someone telling bad words and behaving badly; just stab one nail in door behind.

First day boy did stab 37 nails. Next days he learn how to control himself and number of stabbed nails did start to decrease day by day. He founds out its easier to control him self then to stabbing nails.

At the end comes the day when boy didn't stab even one single nail to the door. Then he left to his dad and told him that he didn't stab even 1 single nail today.

Dad told to his son; OK, from now on,  every day you don't lost your patient you take 1 nail out of door. Days were passing and at the end boy comes to his dad and said to him; I take out all nails out from door.

Dad took his son back to the door and said; Son, you did behave well, but look how many holes left on the door!!

This doors will be never same again like before.  When you argue with someone and told rude words you leave wounds like this on the doors by nail holes.

You can stab a knife into humans body and quickly take it out, but wound will remain. It doesn't matter how many times you apologize after, but wound will remain forever. Verbal wound makes same consequences, the same as body wounds. FRIENDS are rare treasure, they make you happy and encourage you. They are ready to listen to you when is most needed to you. They support you and open your heart to you. Show your friends how much you love them.

[Ginger Shamrock]

That is so profound...and applies to everyone across the board, no matter what culture.

The only time I have not followed through with a RP was when the ubar wanted to remove my tongue for being...sassy.  I was pretty new to SL and Gor at the time, so had not learned how to properly separate my OOC and RL feelings.  I told the guy in IMs that i was not comfortable with this, but he kept telling me to go with it.  When I continued to fuss, he ejected me, and banned me from his sim.

That left a lasting impression on me.  I nearly left SL Gor permanently.  Being kicked out of a sim like that hurt, and hurt for months. 

[Carter Ebbage]

That is so profound...and applies to everyone across the board, no matter what culture.

The only time I have not followed through with a RP was when the ubar wanted to remove my tongue for being...sassy.  I was pretty new to SL and Gor at the time, so had not learned how to properly separate my OOC and RL feelings.  I told the guy in IMs that i was not comfortable with this, but he kept telling me to go with it.  When I continued to fuss, he ejected me, and banned me from his sim.

That left a lasting impression on me.  I nearly left SL Gor permanently.  Being kicked out of a sim like that hurt, and hurt for months. 

Next time you get kicked out of a sim.. say in your most pfffffft emoted voice

"Thats fine, I dont want to belong to any sim that would accept somebody like me as a member anyway" 

[Ona Dinzel]

Next time you get kicked out of a sim.. say in your most pfffffft emoted voice "Thats fine, I dont want to belong to any sim that would accept somebody like me as a member anyway" 

OMG 
Epic.

[Snapper Hollak]

Next time you get kicked out of a sim.. say in your most pfffffft emoted voice

"Thats fine, I dont want to belong to any sim that would accept somebody like me as a member anyway"  Tongue

I did do that to one place but not in those excite words but she got the drift of what I meant. you dont tell others to do one thing and then turn around in group chat and start calling other's rude names and screaming your the sim owner you can do what ever you want to, it is true one can but if one keeps treating others that way you would be by yourself all alone on your sim.

[Mandy Carbenell]

Great responses everyone! And again my thanks to Anjali Cazalet, my IC mother and a woman I came to admire and respect over the years, it was her who gave me the youtube link and the notice she posted. Carter, I totally agree and I wish there were more people that simply said "Bugger off". And Xaz, excellent story! As always you struck me with wisdom, but then again, haven't you done so since the day we met?....Damn....long time ago! My own rule is simple: treat others as you want them to treat you, it's called being polite. Ok, back to my never ending IM's...

[Pax Canning]

I would also like to add that it's not only refusing rp but also accepting that someone else may follow through on rp you don't like.  Each person is responsible for their own character and storyline.  Sure, they may overlap, and we all get attached to some characters we roleplay with.  But just remember, they are only characters, and the person behind is still the same no matter what their character may do.   Getting OOC angry at something someone else does IC is no better.

[Frost Danick]

What gets me absolutly livid is when you have good rp going or storylines set inplace only to have them removed because some "asshat" decideded to has an ooc whinge. If someone is not in the immidate presence of rp such as randsom that has been paid for captive that DOES NOT mean that you can tell the captive that is say away from a city to tp out. It doesnt happen. When the two people return to the city then yeah sure. inform the capturer that there has been a randsom paid and their capturee must be let go. Not tell the capturee to tp out. That destroys any rp that they may have. I've had this first hand and its happened twice now. and i tell you right now. It makes you begin to loose the erge or the inclination to rp with certain people or even the want to rp at all.

[Ona Dinzel]

I would also like to add that it's not only refusing rp but also accepting that someone else may follow through on rp you don't like.  Each person is responsible for their own character and storyline.  Sure, they may overlap, and we all get attached to some characters we roleplay with.  But just remember, they are only characters, and the person behind is still the same no matter what their character may do.   Getting OOC angry at something someone else does IC is no better.

Agree wholeheartedly.

Yet Id like to add something I just read on a shop in SL.
"Put your human on before entering to role play".

I thought it truly represented what I feel about the game. And do not get me wrong, I love IC drama with a passion, I have a super thick skin and will engage into almost everything that though harsh in RP, is well intended OOC.