Contents
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*The Ubar going mental
*:::Gossip:::
*"Page Three"
*Venna Celebrates
*"The Magistrates Corner"
*Advertisements
*Announcements
*"Funny Pages"
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The Ubar going mental.
by CM
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We here on the Tribune received a note from one of our citizens, the person wishes to stay anonymous due to her safety.
The word is that our beloved, or perhaps hated, Ubar has gone crazy. From the mouth of the troubled man could be heard mumblings about collaring and impregnating all the Free Women, perhaps to ensure he could have the sons he always wanted. Rumours also state that he may have had a hand in the death of the Ubara. Many knew her to be a virgin and it was no secret that she agreed to give him a son during their companionship. Did she knew death was coming? It is wellknown that she had a select group of fine Warriors guarding her day and night, and that she even kept a fighting slave for personal defense. Some also claim that her riches were far more extensive then anyone suspected.
We at the tribune decided to bring this story forward as it was far more important then anything we had on the table.. Has the Man we all came to love and despise really lost his mind?
As this article was being written and scheduled to go into print, more was added to the story.
The Commander of the Warriors, Victor, has forced the Ubar out of office due to his mental state and has taken the position for his own. How this is going to proceed is unknown; Is the Commander, whom most see as a complete manwhore, suited for the task? Will he be able to handle the responsibilities that come with his newfound office? We of Treve will ofcourse give the Warrior all the support he needs.
Lastly, a different rumour was brought to us. it was said that the contract between the Ubar Carter and his Ubara Melisande was not legal. It is unsure who started this vile rumour, but to add the the pain of the already hurt Man, it was shouted by a woman that the departed Ubaras riches were not his, but that they belonged to Lady Bella as she is the deceased Ubara's closest living relative. Ofcourse, this only enraged the Ubar even more. Studies have been done and proof has been seen and heard that the rumour is untrue, the contract was indeed legal and the riches most definately belong to Carter, who is now a mere Warrior.
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:::Gossip:::
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It's about time the mysterious academy head has shown up, now more than once within the paper. I've heard that not only has she been hiding in her apartment, but also she's been stashing more than one thing, and person away in there as well. Now I won't ruin the surprise for you all, but I can assure you, whatever first popped into mind is likely truthful.
Seems the rumour mill has faltered and none of the ladies who had thought to be pregnant actually are. Slave wine, however has been flying off the shelves in the infirmary as of late as have orders for belts from the metalworker. Kudos to the women of Treve for at least attempting to portray chastity.
Spotted: One warrior and one companioned lady spending time in far too close quarters to be appropriate. The secret of whom will remain so, but do keep your eyes out for this affair, it promises to be a good one!
I'm sure you'll have read by now that the Ubar has seemingly gone mad. The real question, is whether or not this is truly what it seems. Is he distraught over the loss of the Ubara? Have his slaves finally caused the man to have a meltdown? There have been a few occurrences of various castes spotted in his office likely plotting against him already, I'm inclined to believe that the cause of his madness, is likely a carefully crafted scheme of a few power players and definitely poison-induced.
Not Spotted: Several of the women of Treve. Seems some thing, or some one is the cause of the disappearance, sources say that late at night they've seen a dark beast lurking within the walls of the city. Are there kur-nappings and are our women being eaten?
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"Page Three"
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CAN ONLY BEE SEEN INWORLD
This weeks model is our lovely teacher Lady Red, picture done by Carin McBride
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Venna Celebrates
by TOG
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As part of the continual celebration of Venna, this Saturday marked their first of what surely will be many regular tharlarion races. The men participating, from Treve, Venna as well as a few from unknown locations.
The track, which is in the city center is surrounded by the lush guardens and glistening marble. The winner, as some might have expected was none other than Zane Kanze, however the race was at times, a very close call.
Following the mens race, the women and slaves had an opportunity to try their luck in an unofficial race. Far too much fun was had by all as always in Venna, is the case.
Later in the afternoon, the beautiful resort city was host to a graduation ceremony for new physician Contessa Lannock. A well attended event, many of the who's who of Treve took travel to support the lady.
i WOULD LIKE TO APPOLIGIES FR POSTING THE WRONG PICTRE AND lm INWORLD, NO EXCUSES REALLY EXCPT MYT HEAD WASNT IN THE RIGHT PLACE. pLEASE DO im ME cARIN mCbRDE TO GET THE CORRCT PICTUR*******************************************************
"The Magistrates Corner"
by The Magistrater
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As mentioned in the previous issue of the Tribune it will be publically listed whom is who’s protector, it is expected more will come to the office of the Magistrate to have these papers signed and sealed.
Warrior Mal is now legally Lady Snapper’s protector
Warrior Kadden is now legally Lady Tarlyn’s protector
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Advetisements
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The lingering scent of sultry spices...
the lure of exotic and rare goods...
the mystery of sensual perfumes....
✖ Welcome to The Sparrow's Nest ✖
Owner: Suria Zenoria
(Located in Minus, near Ari's clothing shop)
Weekly Featured Items:
Taharian hand woven rugs and carpets
Turian Liquor
Freewoman, Slave and Signature Scents.
Looking for a scent? Stop by to consult with "Lady Sparrow" about your needs...
Need an herbal consultation? Discounts for Minus residents..
〖Weekly there will be 4 spots at 2 coppers pr. advetisements, if you wish to have an add in the paper for your buisness, contagt Carin McBride personaly and latest Friday in the comming week.〗
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Announcements
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"Funny Pages"
by Ponytails
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This week the funny pages are all about women! So why are women better than men.. well the following poem says it all, sorry
guys!
Poem for all the FW out there!
I shave my legs,
I sit down to pee
And I can justify
any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber,
but a beauty salon.
I can get a massage
without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook,
and wont take any crap
Can talk to my friends,
about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece,
and yes, it takes long.
At least I can admit,
to others when I'm wrong.
I never forget,
an important date.
You just gotta deal with it,
I'm usually very late.
I won't lose my hair,
I don't get jock itch.
And just cause I'm assertive,
Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends,
Oh yeah, I can get her.
In your dreams, my dear,
I can do better!
Flowers are okay,
But jewelry's best.
Look at me you idiot...
Not at my chest?
I don't have a problem,
With Expressing my feelings.
I know when you're lying,
You look at the ceiling.
call me a GIRL ,
a BABE or a CHICK .
I am a WOMAN.
Get it?, you DICK!?!
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Common knowledge about men:
What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.
What is the thinnest book in the world?
"What Men Know About Women"
How can you tell if a man is sexually excited?
He's breathing.
What do men and paga bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up.
How can you tell if a man is happy?
Who cares?
What is a man's idea of helping with the housework?
Lifting his leg so you can clean under it.
What does a man consider a seven-course meal?
A bosk steak and a six-pack of paga.
What do you have when you have two balls in your hands?
A man's undivided attention.
How is a man like a snowstorm?
Because you don't know when it's coming, how many inches you'll get,
and how long it'll stay.
Why are men like laxatives?
They irritate the shit out of you.
How do men sort their laundry?
"Filthy" and Filthy but wearable"
