Changing Your Last Name

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May 2012

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May 28 - Memorial Day

[Kaitlin Eiren]

An interesting question came up in game (group chat) regarding changing the display name to take on the name of a companion.  I rarely saw it before the ability to change display names was added yet now I see it quite a bit in gor.  In some cases it may be the result of an OOC wedding of some kind but usually it is to denote companionship or ownership.

STOP IT! 

A Gorean free woman does not change her name in the ceremony of the Free Companionship. She remains who she was.  In such a ceremony two free individuals have elected to become companions. The Earth woman, as a consequence of certain mating ceremonials, may change her last name. (Explorers of Gor)

[Elle Couerblanc]

But profiles are ooc, they should not be construed as Gorean in any manner what so ever. Outside of RP, people do SL date, have SL marriages, they actually have Slives outside of Gor, and if they want to call themselves mrs. so and so why not? It doesn't mean that in RP they are Mrs. So and so.

Telling people "Stop IT" as you have appears to me to be belittling the choices of people you may not agree with.

For the record I have never had a Sl marriage ceremony, never called a partner "Husband" unless it was a joke and I would say Slhusband and would never considered changing my display name to reflect a partner's last name.

Now if the post would have been "I think some of our fellow players don't know that its not customary in the books for the woman to change their name. To support this, here are some examples from the books: (quote) (quote) (quote)" I would have been fine with the post but to come out and say STOP IT totally irked me.

[Anarch]

I think it's not really -that- important of a subject or habbit either.

I couldn't care less if a FW changed her last name or not. It's not disruptive to my RP at all. Different cities, different cultures on Gor, different habbits. I don't find it 'implausible' and up to a point I even find it completely irrelevant what JN wrote about it...

It does not disrupt RP as badly as for example someone camming halfway across the sim to see his ward having a man in her room and punishing her for it later.

[Husam Darkfire]

So without reading that little neon sign over everyone's head, how do you know what their names are? You ask.

If you walk up to me in gor and we've never met, yet you use my name in anything other that a thought emote, you're going to get a curious look as I ponder where we may have crossed paths before.

If a FW IC'ly states her last name as same as her FC, then take it OOC and let them know it wasn't something that was done and bombard them with BTB quotes. That's always good for enhancing RP.

Hell, the FC's might be brother and sister for all I know (listens for the sounds of a banjo).

I actually turn off the ability to view tags in-world. Forces me have to pay attention to their appearance. Kinda like RL. Except in RL, I'm horrible with names.

[Jaynus Whitefalcon]

Please Anarch. 'Habit'.  I think furry footed little people  the way you usually spell it.

[Elle Couerblanc]

Please Anarch. 'Habit'.  I think furry footed little people  the way you usually spell it.

Hey Hobbits like their display names too!!

[pasy namiboo]

An interesting question came up in game (group chat) regarding changing the display name to take on the name of a companion.  I rarely saw it before the ability to change display names was added yet now I see it quite a bit in gor.  In some cases it may be the result of an OOC wedding of some kind but usually it is to denote companionship or ownership.

Ummmm, so what? 

[Rayzor McAuley]

I have to admit that it's an annoyance for me to see a lady take her companion's surname, but it's not a major distraction.  And while you have provided a quote on the subject, I seem to remember reading another passage that said it is "not common" for a woman to take her companion's surname, but that it did happen occasionally.

[Kaitlin Eiren]

But profiles are ooc, they should not be construed as Gorean in any manner what so ever. Outside of RP, people do SL date, have SL marriages, they actually have Slives outside of Gor, and if they want to call themselves mrs. so and so why not? It doesn't mean that in RP they are Mrs. So and so.

Telling people "Stop IT" as you have appears to me to be belittling the choices of people you may not agree with.

For the record I have never had a Sl marriage ceremony, never called a partner "Husband" unless it was a joke and I would say Slhusband and would never considered changing my display name to reflect a partner's last name.

Now if the post would have been "I think some of our fellow players don't know that its not customary in the books for the woman to change their name. To support this, here are some examples from the books: (quote) (quote) (quote)" I would have been fine with the post but to come out and say STOP IT totally irked me.

You get the same response here you got on the other forums.  Shopping for a friendlier audience?

The original OP

I rarely saw it before the ability to change display names was added yet now I see it quite a bit in gor.  In some cases it may be the result of an OOC wedding of some kind but usually it is to denote companionship or ownership.

Read the OP again and certainly get your facts straight about what I agree and don't agree with as a practice in SL.  I said Display Names and nothing at all about profiles.  I even went on further to clarify I meant names used in IC RP only.  I've had a fun wedding in SL so I could care less what people do with their time in SL.  This OP was about gorean RP or it wouldn't be in the onlinism section (other forum).  There was a legitimate question asked regarding what the practice was in group chat so I thought I would also share that here as well. 

Thanks for giving me a reason to pull out the wedding album.  I love these pictures.

I have to admit that it's an annoyance for me to see a lady take her companion's surname, but it's not a major distraction.  And while you have provided a quote on the subject, I seem to remember reading another passage that said it is "not common" for a woman to take her companion's surname, but that it did happen occasionally.

No such quote unless it is in book 29.  Is it a big deal in RP?  Not at all and I'd simply nod and smile if a person introduced themselves that way ICly but if a person who I know is pretty well read in the genre asks the question OOCly then I'll answer it OOCly and open it up for discussion.

[Linnet Foggarty]

Ummmm, so what? 

LOL pasy - your post made me think of this.



 

As for people changing their display name to match their companion or owner?  I just don't really see the big deal.  I rarely, rarely, RARELY, ever hear anyone IC introduce themselves using a last name, whether that be their avatar last name, their display last name, or one they just made up for their character.

Most people introduce themselves as "Lady Jane from Y" or "John from Ar" so IC my character doesn't even know their last name.

If for some reason by chance they did, and it happened to be the same as their companion, I really don't see this ruining my RP experience or immersion at all.

So technically I suppose it's "incorrect" I just find it's hard for me to really feel any ooomph about this one.

Some things that enhance BtB are worth enforcing to me, some things that are onlinisms worth correcting as well, this just isn't a biggie for me.  There is still so much out there that we could improve on in terms of roleplayer and gor knowledge, this would be a very minor priority to me, if at all.

[Kaitlin Eiren]

LOL.  All questions are worth answering if they are asked.  The OP was for those that might have genuinely thought that an companionship was similar to a modern day wedding.  I do love which onlinisms we think matter and which we think don't.  Does a slave taking three steps back really hurt immersion?  No it doesn't but it doesn't hurt to offer that it wasn't part of serving.  How about we get rid of them all as long as its on a discussion forum about gorean RP and not in game. 

[Linnet Foggarty]

LOL.  All questions are worth answering if they are asked.  The OP was for those that might have genuinely thought that an companionship was similar to a modern day wedding.  I do love which onlinisms we think matter and which we think don't.  Does a slave taking three steps back really hurt immersion?  No it doesn't but it doesn't hurt to offer that it wasn't part of serving.  How about we get rid of them all as long as its on a discussion forum about gorean RP and not in game. 

Oh I'm not disagreeing that a gorean woman taking her companions last name could very well be an onlinism worth noting, I'm simply admitting I personally have various levels of tolerance and pet peeves.

I know, that likely makes me a terrible roleplayer and SL Gorean, but some things I can shrug off, others make me want to stab someone LOL  There is no rhyme nor reason to which bother me in RP more than others either.  Luckily every one has different ones and that's how progress is made I guess.  We each champion different things.

[Kaitlin Eiren]

LOL.  All questions are worth answering if they are asked.  The OP was for those that might have genuinely thought that an companionship was similar to a modern day wedding.  I do love which onlinisms we think matter and which we think don't.  Does a slave taking three steps back really hurt immersion?  No it doesn't but it doesn't hurt to offer that it wasn't part of serving.  How about we get rid of them all as long as its on a discussion forum about gorean RP and not in game. 

Oh I'm not disagreeing that a gorean woman taking her companions last name could very well be an onlinism worth noting, I'm simply admitting I personally have various levels of tolerance and pet peeves.

I know, that likely makes me a terrible roleplayer and SL Gorean, but some things I can shrug off, others make me want to stab someone LOL  There is no rhyme nor reason to which bother me in RP more than others either.  Luckily every one has different ones and that's how progress is made I guess.  We each champion different things.

I would agree with you.  I wouldn't make a big deal about whether a slave nodded or not nor would I ask on a forum if it was "RP correct" to nod.  We each pick the issues we want to communicate as our contribution to hopefully having an RP environment that gets closer and closer to the books.  This particular one is not something that can be refuted in 29 books unlike nodding so I added it here.   There might be one person who might have wondered beyond the person who asked the question. Providing the quote here is a long way from making a big deal or any deal at all about it in RP. 

As far as whether you are a terrible roleplayer or SL Gorean...



As long as the people you are playing with enjoy, that is all that matters.

[Revenge Sempati]

Very little is really written about companionship or the ins and outs of what might be within a contract.  It is a binding contract after all, or so many interpretations of it suggest, that more often like a business deal between partners than a loving earth style marriage.

So, would it not be possible in a legal contract to put a passage about one party taking the name of the other party for the duration of said contract?  Just like how property and assets would be mentioned to be under control of one party or the other?  Seems rather valid and proper to me...outside the normal way of doing things perhaps but sooner people realize that things cannot be 100% black/white all the time, well....perhaps might go back to enjoying the genre instead of nitpicking stupid fucking details.

Seriously, need to stop doing this stupid "if it is not expressly written in the holy bible of Gor it cannot EVER happen" bullshit.  Grain of salt and common sense.

[Kaitlin Eiren]

Very little is really written about companionship or the ins and outs of what might be within a contract.  It is a binding contract after all, or so many interpretations of it suggest, that more often like a business deal between partners than a loving earth style marriage.

So, would it not be possible in a legal contract to put a passage about one party taking the name of the other party for the duration of said contract?  Just like how property and assets would be mentioned to be under control of one party or the other?  Seems rather valid and proper to me...outside the normal way of doing things perhaps but sooner people realize that things cannot be 100% black/white all the time, well....perhaps might go back to enjoying the genre instead of nitpicking stupid fucking details.

Seriously, need to stop doing this stupid "if it is not expressly written in the holy bible of Gor it cannot EVER happen" bullshit.  Grain of salt and common sense.

The problem with your example of "it not being in the books" is that in this case the author is very explicit and it is black and white.  JN is famous for using words like few, most, normal and similar.  In this case he doesn't.  He says FW Don't take the name of their companion which makes sense in a society where wealth, standing and caste are determined by the father.  That name we are discussing changing is often the very reason for the companionship.  Arguing this issue is like saying a slave could name herself despite the author stating that an owner had a legal right to name them.  In this case its a pretty cut and dry legal right for a FW to keep their name.  Nitpicking happens in RP.  On a gorean discussion you get to say yay, nay, aha I didn't know that! or even so what it doesn't impact me.