Dear Dove

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May 2012

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May 28 - Memorial Day

[Babybear Serenity]

Preface:

With Adoveea Rau's permission I am beginning this column. It is pretty self-explanatory. There are times in my day where I am faced with a difficult situation and I find myself asking "WWDD" -'what would Dove do?", and so, I have decided to use the forums as a way to find out and to share.

Yes, of course I could just IM her privately, but then her witty and tremendously entertaining and often enlightening replies would be received by a party of one only, and she often says the most inspiring, insightful things, they need to be brodcasted. 

Am I a fan? Yes. Do I always agree with Dove? No.

My wish for this topic is that anyone wanting to ask Dove a question, be given the courtesy to hear her reply to it before others reply to the question. AS TEMPTING as it might be, and as much as you will be itching to give your opinion, the premise is that the opening poster is seeking Dove's opinion formost, and of course, responses to her reply and the OP are welcome afterward.

I thank you all a head of time for this consideration, and I hope we can have some fun with it...

Dear Dove;

     I recently found myself in a gorean city where almost every free woman, high caste and low caste were wearing sheer veils. I did my best to "deal with it in RP", but the insults fell on deaf ears.

When I had a discussion OOCly with one of the city leaders, the reply was "at least they are wearing one." 

Vendors that proclaim to sell "gorean" clothing, sell FW outfits with sheer veils and so it seems to propogate this falsity that it would be acceptable. As if we need to lend credibility to a content creator for applying this label to their designs. I fear that in this instance I wasn't confident there was much I could do to give them education without creating drama.

I then decided to form an educational post on my House of Seginus forum. I could perhaps direct people, but what other methods could I use ICly to drive the point home, from the prospective of a slave player?
What sort of IC insults would be authentic? I don't see my slave character openly insulting an obvious FW, no matter how she is dressed. But what other ways can she make the point?

At what point are we catering to their lack of knowledge and should we simply be going to IMs and asking them to explain their reasoning? Or lack of?



I understand completely how difficult it is to find "authentic" robes of concealment, we have to give a little here. But hundreds of veils are available for free, and even then most are modifiable and can be made opaque.


Help me help them, Dove! 

[Carter Ebbage]

Help me help them, Dove! 

I wont speak for Dove.. but, the assumption that you are some sort of Self Appointed Fashion Police there to guide and educate the lesser knowledgeable women of Gor is a problem for me and something you need to be aware of if you are giving that vibe to others...

However, if this is bugging you,  I  would suggest you adopt a theme of Pareto's Principle.. focus on 20% of issues to resolve 80% of the problems you perceive in SL GOR .. Free Women wearing "sheer veils" is not one of the top 20% of issues in my opinion...perhaps not wearing one at all would be in the 20% of main issues, as it is blatantly wrong in the context of a gorean theme in certain gorean regions and levels of caste.

[Babybear Serenity]

Really? And why wouldn't I be able to offer help to others to guide them and to help educate them? I've only been doing that for two years, Carter. We all started somewhere and the information we get, good or bad, seems to determine whether or not we 'get it'.. short of picking up the novels yourself and finding out what would be considered "blatantly wrong in the context of a gorean theme".

Does that make me the "self appointed fashion police"? Do you need to pepper your post with insults to make a point? Grating at me because you don't like my chosen topic?

When I do try and approach a fellow RPer, am I a bitch about it OOCly? No. And besides your top 20% isn't my top 20% of "issues to resolve". I'm sure our lists would be eerily similar, but back to the point. This topic thread wasn't meant for you, but thanks for buttin' in and shinning your manly spotlight on my little issue. 

PS: it became an issue when the woman wearing a see through veil commented on another woman being improper for not wearing gloves. Its all relevant to RP, little details DO matter.

[bunni Maven]

I don't know, I'm sort of with Carter on this.  If your focus is every last detail of the clothing people are wearing...I would try shifting the focus back to the RP.  Not everyone will meet all expectations 100% of the time.  If the rp was good, I probably wouldn't even notice what the FW was wearing....or at least not such a small detail.  If it was like that I would spend all my time checking skirt lengths, modesty tops, jewelry....sounds exhausting.

[Delaynie Barbosa]

My wish for this topic is that anyone wanting to ask Dove a question, be given the courtesy to hear her reply to it before others reply to the question. AS TEMPTING as it might be, and as much as you will be itching to give your opinion, the premise is that the opening poster is seeking Dove's opinion formost, and of course, responses to her reply and the OP are welcome afterward.

Sayin'

[bunni Maven]

Maybe falling back to the IM method would have been a better choice

[Adoveea Rau]

Such things happen occasionally, I sometimes believe it's a conspiracy among the slaves,whispering how lovely that woman's face looks in a transparent veil in order to attempt to draw the men's attention to the free woman's face and charms and get her collared!

Eyes the slaves suspiciously...

Fighting Slave of Gor, pg. 276
"Sometimes, of course, free women will drink unveiled, even with guests. Much depends upon how well the individuals are known, and who is present. In their homes, of course, with only the members of their families present, or servants and slaves, most free women do not veil themselves, even those of high caste."


Slave Girl of Gor Chapter 5
"Eta, from behind me, pinned the first of five veils about my face. It was light, and shimmering, of white silk, almost transparent. Then, one after the other, she added the freedom veil, or veil of the citizeness, the pride veil, the house veil, and the street veil. Each of these is heavier and more opaque than the one which lies within." (this quote is dressing a slave for a purpose as a FW but shows us all how the veils go on)

It is just terrible to draw that attention of all eyes around to such a veiled women,...because perhaps she was overcome in her duties or even too much of a rush to garb herself properly, or even be from  other cultural areas of gor.  Wagon women, women of torvaldsland, red savages, and similar areas do not wear the veils.

So the best and most proper action anyone could take is to fetch her a lovely outer veil so she would not be so unclothed in the eyes of the public in your city. Or even offer to take her upon a shopping spree to the markets where merchants offer wonderful veils of high quality and proper decorum.

One of the most active subtle visual routines for a slave is to wear a transparent veil of course..
Encouraging other slaves to beg for transparent veils from their owners brings about the  knowledge that *the slaves wear transparent veils * to be known very vividly in a city....heavily marks a difference between the free woman and slave...in visual eye catching sight.

Encouraging the men about how they can act upon seeing those veils...is in this paragraph...

Tribesmen of Gor, page 69-70
"she took the tiny, triangular yellow veil, utterly diaphanous, and held it before her face, covering the lower portion of her face. The veil was drawn back and she held it at her ears. The light silk was held across the bridge of her nose, where, beautifully, its porous, yellow sheen broke to the left and right. Her mouth, angry, was visible behind the veil. It, too, covered her chin. The mouth of a woman, by men of the Tahari, and by Goreans generally, is found extremely provocative, sexually. The slave veil is a mockery, in its way. It reveals, as much as conceals, yet it adds a touch of subtlety, mystery; slave veils are made to be torn away, the lips of the master then crushing those of the slave."

**diaphanous- di·aph·a·nous/dīˈafənəs/
Adjective:   
(esp. of fabric) Light, delicate, and translucent.**

You see its not a crime to not wear a veil in public, it's just scandalous, and almost daring request to be seen and collared, and well a transparent veil IS a veil in the home..and er...well in public.....reads the quote again about diaphanous veil and adds another layer of veils JUST in case of high winds created by mischievous tarnsman on tarns...

anyone got any glue?..

[Conall DeCuir]

You see its not a crime to not wear a veil in public, it's just scandalous, and almost daring request to be seen and collared, and well a transparent veil IS a veil in the home..and er...well in public.....reads the quote again about diaphanous veil and adds another layer of veils JUST in case of high winds created by mischievous tarnsman on tarns...

anyone got any glue?..

I will further walk into their backs and whisper into their ears "Slut" whit that mockery in front of their lips and for now it made them at least think. 

[Violetta Daviau]

Isn't it written somewhere in the books too that low caste women often or at least at times do not wear veils either? I think it was... and if I am right, then - given most free women players resemble some type of merchant or crafter caste members, it would be actually "legal", even though dangerous, that they do not wear veils. For the few high caste FW it would of course be more mandatory (reminds me that I have never seen a warrior FW, i.e. the FC of a warrior).

In that context one could actually also discuss if the chosen dresses are BTB themselfes. There are Robe of Concealments out on the market, yet most one sees are dresses that are more like a light version of ballroom gowns or victorian dresses.

[Liara Edring]

I think it might actually better for them to not wear a veil at all rather than wear a see-thru (or, "slave") veil.  From a social standpoint.

[Conall DeCuir]

I saw her eyes wild with fear for a moment above the rep-cloth veil and she had sped past me.
She was peasant, barefoot, her garment little more than coarse sacking.
She had been carrying a wicker basket con- taining vulos, domesticated pigeons raised for eggs and meat. Her man, carrying a mattock, was not far behind. Over his left shoulder hung a bulging sack filled with what must have been the paraphernalia of his hut.
Nomads

Normally, only a father and a husband (FC I presume ~s~) may see a woman unveiled. Normally, of men, only a father and a husband may look upon the woman unveiled. ~ Tarnsman

FW normally do not show their face to strangers.  (These particular unveiled "FW" are really slaves to entertain men at a dinner party) "In my city," I said, "free women would not permit themselves to be seen unveiled before strangers." ~ Nomads

Veils not required by law, they are a matter of custom and modesty. The veil, it might be noted, is not legally imperative for a free woman; it is rather a matter of modesty and custom. Some low-class, uncompanioned, free girls do not wear veils. Similarly certain bold free women neglect the veil. Neglect of the veil is not a crime in Gorean cities, though in some it is deemed a brazen and scandalous omission. ~ Slave Girl

On the whole, however, Gorean culture prescribes the veil for free women.  ~ Slave Girl

FW guard their privacy, their feelings and emotions. Veils conceal facial expressions which reveal these emotions
On Gor, for free women, both body veiling and face veiling are cultural, and tend to be widely practiced. I suppose, objectively, there is something more to be said for face veiling than body veiling. Bodies, though differing remarkably, one to the other, tend perhaps to be somewhat more similar than faces. Accordingly, if one should be concerned to protect one’s privacy and one’s feelings, and such, it seems that the face might preferably be veiled. In the face, surely, it is easier to read emotion and individuality than in a body. Should not the face then, if one is concerned with concealment and privacy, be veiled? Is the face not more personal and revealing than the body? Does it not make sense then to consider it a proper object of concealment in a free person? Is one not entitled, so to speak, to privacy in the matter of one’s thoughts and feelings, sometimes so manifest in one’s facial expressions? However this may be, there are congruences and dispositions which seem appropriate in given contexts. Veils seem correct, and right, with the robes of concealment. ~ Slave Girl

Low Caste doesnt has to wear a veil at home or while they are working. Should Strangers appear, they would be ordered to wear a veil or to go home and to close the door. I do not think, that their men would agree with any man looking into the unveiled faces of their women whom they do not see as friend and even then .. the friend is a gorean man.

I never understood why the "ladies" are so against it to wear a veil. Of course there is no danger in sl-gor, its all fun but .. at gor it was or could be a real issue to meet the wrong one unveiled and a sheer veil is just a call for "collar me, collar me ... ain't i pretty as a slut?"

Edits:
At Clearchus there have been some women which wanted to be protected by me. I never saw them again after i told them ... they would have to wear a veil from the moment i would agree. 

[Kaitlin Eiren]

You see its not a crime to not wear a veil in public, it's just scandalous, and almost daring request to be seen and collared, and well a transparent veil IS a veil in the home..and er...well in public.....reads the quote again about diaphanous veil and adds another layer of veils JUST in case of high winds created by mischievous tarnsman on tarns...

anyone got any glue?..

I will further walk into their backs and whisper into their ears "Slut" whit that mockery in front of their lips and for now it made them at least think. 

Neglect of the veil is not a crime in Gorean cities, though in some it is deemed a brazen and scandalous omission. Slave girls may or may not be veiled, this depending on the will of their master. Most slave girls are not permitted to veil themselves. Indeed, not only are they refused the dignity of the veil, but commonly they are placed in brief, exciting slave livery and may not even bind their hair. (Slave Girl)

I did not want my face to be seen by them. In many Gorean cities, only a slave girl goes unveiled.  I felt his hand tighten in the veil. Then he jerked it away. I was face-stripped, completely. I closed my eyes, with shame. (Slave Girl)

I usually make covering my face part of my RP.  Sometimes that may even include scrambling to retrieve my veil if someone walks into the office.  I believe it is education and the best suggestion so far is raising awareness by the men such as the example Conall offered.  ICly I would have quite a bit of fun with a slave that dared to point out an error with my behavior as a free woman who has every reason to despise them anyway.   An offer to go retrieve the street veil I left behind could be fun stuff as long as it was not the usual thought emotes I commonly see.   

[thyri Carver]

To be fair, I can count on one hand the number of "attractive" veils there are on the gorean market.  And 100% of those come with the outfits.  So for other dresses its either play mix and match with no copy items, or try to use a generic veil.  Many generic veils ARE fairly seethrough.  Many arent as well.  But a vast majority I've seen on the marketplace are pretty darned sheer (and ugly too by the way... you've either got... ninja mask or you've got silks on the face design... both look terrible IMO)

Not to mention, I think there is the vanity factor in play.  They WANT those pretty skin faces to show.  Thats usually why 90% of women buy their skins based off of how the face looks.  Body comes second to the face.  Now its all covered up!  Why oh why did I just spend 2000L for a skin that's now going to be all covered up?  So to a very slight few, it is the flirt factor.  

[Violetta Daviau]

To be fair, I can count on one hand the number of "attractive" veils there are on the gorean market.  And 100% of those come with the outfits.  So for other dresses its either play mix and match with no copy items, or try to use a generic veil.  Many generic veils ARE fairly seethrough.  Many arent as well.  But a vast majority I've seen on the marketplace are pretty darned sheer (and ugly too by the way... you've either got... ninja mask or you've got silks on the face design... both look terrible IMO)

Given yes, most outfits come with ugly veils, there are some tremendous out there, also copy/mod. Then there are good textures that make it easy to blend those in with other dresses too, even freebies.

Not to mention, I think there is the vanity factor in play.  They WANT those pretty skin faces to show.  Thats usually why 90% of women buy their skins based off of how the face looks.  Body comes second to the face.  Now its all covered up!  Why oh why did I just spend 2000L for a skin that's now going to be all covered up?  So to a very slight few, it is the flirt factor.

...And those that want to show even more of their 2k L$ skin than the face have to become panther girls or kajirae as even in GE too much cleavage is forbidden, some BTB sims even Command a glitch pant. If a player complains the reply is usually "This is Gor, Gor is a man's world, live with it".
Aside of that, the unpacking of a free woman, companion or captive, is often like unpacking a surprise gift for a man, and if he then finds a nice "skin&shape", or in realistic words facial features, he might even show his awe and happyness the more.

[Anarch]

Or kill her if she's ugly.