An old time funny

This is an old time funny... from 2007... and proof that assassins DO have emotions. haha

Trying to help an orphaned waif... I think he learned a valuable lesson in never aiding anyone.
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Antonius Cazalet looks around for my boots, and walking across to the opposite corner of the room and I nudge the lump under the corner furs with my foot. "Where are my boots?"

Lilith Illyar wakes, hair going all over and her eyes squinting against the light of morning. "What boots?"

Antonius Cazalet takes a deep breath so I can remain calm. "How many pair of boots do I own? My boots. The only ones. The ones that were setting by the door when I went to sleep."

Lilith Illyar glances toward the door, and shrugs. "I don't see no boots."

Antonius Cazalet closes my eyes and reminds myself that this young woman is under my care so that I'm not tempted to do unpleasant things to her in the manner of a beating. "No," my words come out slowly in order for me to control them, "they aren't there now. That's why I'm asking you what you've done with them."

Lilith Illyar tips back her head to look up at him, towering above her wearing all of his black except for the bare toes peeking out from under his cloak. "Are they black, and got some shiny up around the top?" She moves her hands around like she is drawing a picture of them in her mind.

Antonius Cazalet: "Yes! They are black with hammered conchos around the top!" I shout as my patience vaporizes, and I must pull back. I breath in through my nose and out through my mouth, forcing control over my emotions that only this stubborn woman-child seems to invoke. "Yes, those are the ones," my voice has returned to the state of calm even if the color of my face has heightened with the exertion.

Lilith Illyar shakes the tangled mass of bed head, shrugs and while she is rolling over and tossing the furs back over her head replies, "No, haven't seen them." Her soft snores immediately are heard from under the covers.

Antonius Cazalet bends over the lump there with my hands coming together in half moons with the desire to choke this young miscreant that I had unsensibly aided in a lapse of good judgment. There was no training in all my life that could have prepared me for this demon scoundrel with the angel face. "It is a test. The Priest Kings are testing me. It could be a test of my control." I perform all the old tricks I had learned as a lad to control my temper and back away from her. I must get out of doors, and when I do I find my boots in the water trough. Standing there incredulous, I eventually find my wits and bellow back into the cave. "WHY ARE MY BOOTS IN THE WATER?"

Lilith Illyar answers from under the furs, and the sound would be muffled by the time it gets to him. "I forgot about that. You said you wanted them clean." That's the only explanation she gives, and doesn't offer to get up to go assist.

Antonius Cazalet makes a gurgling sound as the words are swallowed back that I want to shout. I grab up the boots from the water and douse myself also. All the blood in my body must rush to my face and I have to run bare foot from the cave opening to distance myself from her so I'm not tempted to kill her, still carrying my boots.